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All I Want Is Change

Hello, I'm A 22 year old female and would greatly appreciate some help. Ever since I can remember, I've always had very low self esteem and it has just recently gotten worse. I have never considered myself beautiful, I'm always judgemental towards myself, compare myself to other females. I just want change, I just want to be happy with myself but I don't know how. Its so hard for me. My boyfriend always tells me that I'm beautiful, but his words do not make an impact on me what so ever. I don't feel like I believe him. I'm always thinking in the back of my mind "he's just saying that/he doesn't mean it". This is the longest relationship I've ever been in and I'm afraid my insecurities will get in the way. I've never allowed myself to get close to anyone and he is the first that I'm really trying it with. I just need help to gain more confidence within myself. I want that change. Just to feel beautiful.
Desire06 Desire06 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 24, 2012

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Hi, I also deal with low self esteem. This has plagued me for as long as I can remember. I recently came across a simple but beautiful illustration that may help us and others know our worth. The Bible says that “God is greater than our hearts.” (1 John 3:20) This means, for one thing, that he can see value in you that you may not see in yourself. But do your imperfections change that? Well, imagine that you had a $100 bill with a small tear in it. Would you throw it away or view it as worthless because of that tear? No way! It’s still worth $100—with or without a tear. It’s similar with God’s view of OUR worth. OUR flaws don’t blind him to OUR value. He notices and treasures your efforts to please him, no matter how insignificant they may seem to US! I hope this helps. It made my day.

I feel the same way when my friends and others tell me that I'm beautiful. I always have in the back of my mind that they are just saying it to make me feel better and genuinely don't mean it. That is one aspect of self-esteem. The majority of the time however, people aren't really just saying it. Most wouldn't go out of their way to lie. And genuinely, from your icon I think you are beautiful and I'm not just saying that. I wouldn't mind looking like you if I'm honest. If your boyfriend thinks that you are beautiful then believe it. At least you have a boyfriend. In fact a major fear in most who suffer from low self-esteem is that they are too unattractive to ever have someone love them. You already have someone who loves you for who you are and that should be all that matters. What truly matters is what you think and what he thinks. No one else's opinion should matter. Who cares about what some stranger on the street thinks of your looks when you already have a man who loves you and thinks that you are beautiful? The stranger is not important to you so his/her opinion therefore should not be important to you. Learn to love yourself. Some would even say that if you were not beautiful then you wouldn't have a boyfriend - does that make you feel better?

How do you have a boyfriend when you feel so low about yourself? I would really like to know. i always feel bad about myself, and people tell me this is why i'll always be alone. i am very envious of you. i wish someone i like could like me back. youre very lucky.

Whay would he bother with an ugly lady? There must be good in You, as it is in everyone! We are ex<x>pressions of God and each of us is unique! Totaly poinless to compare.