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A Letter To Myself About Self Esteem

There will always be someone better looking than you. This is the same for everyone, not just you. There is always someone out there who is prettier than you, richer than you or smarter than you. It is a fact of life whether you like it or not. Some people who you have seen and thought were better looking than you have looked at other people and thought the same and the cycle continues. Accepting this is your first step towards gaining self esteem.

We live in a very shallow society. From a young age beautiful people are thrown in our faces in the media and when we go out and look at the people around us most do not match the standards of the beauty of these people. So what? Life is unfair. Some people are more genetically gifted than us and therefore more attractive. In our shallow and looks obsessed society unfortunately it is inevitable that people will judge others based on their looks. Certain members of the opposite sex or even the same sex will not even bother getting to know you simply because they don't see you as attractive enough. Certain members of the human race will treat people they deem as good looking better than those they deem as not so good looking. Certain members of the human race will only date those they see as good looking.

We can't lie about the fact that a lot of people want physically attractive partners. It is not our faults. You have been seeing beautiful people in the media from a young age and as you grow older you wish to date people who match those in the media physically. Yet, not everyone can look like those people.

What you would find in the majority of people with low self-esteem like yourself is that they care about what others think. Realistically, everyone does to some extent. However in your case you REALLY care about what others think. You cannot bear the fact of an individual looking at you and making a judgement that you are not attractive or 'ugly'. When being 'ugly' has been made to be a negative quality in such a beauty-obsessed society it's no wonder that people feel hurt when they are associated with such a word.

Just remember that beauty really is subjective. It is in the eye of the beholder as everyone has different tastes and different view points.

First of all you need to focus on learning not to care about what others think about you (or your appearance in this case) to gain some self-esteem.

Why does their opinion matter to you so much? Will their opinion change the fact that you live a privileged life - with people who love you, a roof over your head, hot water and daily meals? Put yourself in the shoes of someone who is in poverty and suffering from starvation. Do you think what other people think of them matters to them right now when they are going through those dilemmas? No? Then why should it matter to you?

You cannot control what others think of you. There are always going to be mean and judgemental people around. If they're sad enough to have such a negative opinion of you and care about what you do or what you look like what does that say about the happiness in their life? If they were truly happy they wouldn't feel the need to do that. Even then, if they live a fairly happy life but judge people based on their looks, that is their problem. They are entitled to their own opinion but remember that their opinion is not important until YOU make it important.

If someone or some people were to say that you were physically unattractive that is their opinion and when you feel hurt by it that means that you feel their opinion is important. Who are they? They are just another human being. Why would their opinion make you feel less happy about yourself and drive you into low self-confidence? What truly matters is what YOU think. Who cares if you are not conventionally beautiful? If you learn to believe that you are beautiful then tell yourself that what matters is what you think.

Realistically okay, maybe if some member of the opposite/same sex was to say that you are not attractive it may matter to you because obviously in this shallow world attractiveness is supposedly important and attractiveness is supposedly a major factor in gaining a partner or engaging in a relationship. Again, that is just their opinion and some may disagree with them. However there is always someone out there who will love you for who you are - fact!

If your self esteem is to do with your body image or weight do the required work to help lose some weight if it will truly help you to feel better about yourself (do it for YOU, not others). Girls can wear makeup, dress up nicely, use certain products and boys can work out in the gym, get a new haircut etc. but the most important thing is that you find happiness about yourself WITHIN before you alter your external appearance. If you're altering your external appearance because you are certain that it will raise your self-esteem then by all means go for it.

Also if you have a great personality people will certainly love you for who you are and not care about your external appearance unless they are very shallow and/or arrogant.

This letter was mainly about facial appearance. About that, well you can't really change your face without surgery. What really is the point in dwelling in self-pity over how horrible your face looks when you are stuck with it for the rest of your life? It's difficult but you must learn to love it. What exactly are you gaining in being constantly upset over the way your face looks? Nothing! Just more unhappiness and lower self-esteem.

You just have to accept yourself for who you are. Stop caring about where other people put you on the attractiveness scale. Stop caring about what other people think. Just be comfortable with yourself and find your strengths. Make goals and do things to make you happy. Accept that there are people out there prettier than you and there is nothing you can do about it. They are not much better than you, really. At the end of the day they are a human being who does number 2s on the toilet, breaks down in tears, gets spots sometimes and will eventually die. Their lives are NOT perfect just because of the way they look. Honestly, you probably have some aspects of your life that are better than theirs.

Why live a life of misery over the way you look when it would have been much better for you to stop caring, become comfortable with who you are and live a fun and fulfilling life? You only have one chance at life. Do you really want to die having been constantly miserable over your facial appearance and never have the chance to experience the great things in life again?
fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 2, 2012

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there is NO ugly person, everyone have something nice on and In them, even you, you just have to find it. And the beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say, every person have a different perception of "beauty",
take care about yourself girl

This made me feel so much better!

I'm happy it did :) Now and again when I start to feel low about my appearance I read over this and I start to feel a bit better. My plan is to read it so many times that my low self-esteem becomes almost non-existent one day.