LSE, Too.

H i there (I'm new)... Here goes... I've always hated myself for almost every aspect of my being.  I look at myself and can only think of the negative aspects.

Everytime I venture into new possibilities, I tend to do well, but I never believed other people's compliments, even when they reassure me that their remarks are sincere.

Everytime I involve myself in certain activities, even if I do pretty well, it's my lack of self-esteem and confidence that makes me lose my balance, and I end up failing in those activities even though I would have done well had I not yielded to self-deprecating thoughts.  (Failing by suddenly being reluctant to express myself to the utmost; withdraw right away for fear of failure because I do not trust myself and my capabilities).

I've been described as perfectionist and too hard on myself, because I am never satisfied with what I do.  I hate everything I do.  For every little mistake, I punish myself by thinking of more insults I could throw at myself.

Perhaps this one of the most difficult challenges for me: to learn to love myself and appreciate my own efforts, and to learn how to forgive myself as well.