Wrong

Find a hobby you really enjoy that will make you feel good, what do you like doing it will also take your mind off things and you can get involved with other people with the same interests. Ignored what your mums says she sounds bitter and bitter people take their crap out on others. Start being your own best friends and speaking nicely to yourself and when you say anything negative resplace it will something positive will stop you getting down on yourself.

It's terrible, but I've had the same experience with a bit of mental illness and alcoholism in the mix. I am older and I still find it extremely difficult to not be resentful and angry. My mother has since passed on and I don't miss her. She was a terrible mother to me and picked on me because she was dissatisfied with her life. I hate to think I may have some of her genes and traits. Help me I don't want to turn out like her. Doing the next right thing is how I try to lead my life and hope for the best. I think you may be on the right track.

I wrote about this on another post. I have suffered from self esteem issues and low self confidence for most of my life and it's because I have this inner tape that plays on continuous telling me what a bad/lousy/messed up person I am. Lately I've called that tape my inner judge or maybe you know it as your super ego. All of my life that a remember she has constantly told me how bad I am and I listen. And I finally decided NO MORE! And I yelled at her and told her to stop being so mean and critcal and say nicie things more often and maybe I would get better. Surprisingly she's toned down ALOT since then but there was one day she tried to get back to her old ways and i said "STOP!" we're not going there, either say something nice or say nothing...I am finally FINALLY starting to like myself and hoping to love myself....I'm always willing to chat if you need to :)

Well, you wrote your story properly, that's an accomplishment. You found this website. With lots of cool people to talk to, that shows direction. Your family isn't everyone, particularly if it's just one person. Communicate as much as you want here, people will be more than happy to throw their 2 cents in. Low self esteem wil diminish with age. Mine did , ,but it was difficult to let go of the people who made me feel bad . Now if your insistent that you want to feel bad than nothing can stop you. However, good vibes are out there. Good luck.

Ok so I do something though that I know is going to have bad consequences and then it does and im sure it was just a horrible coincidence and always do it again. I never learn!

:)
You Never Learn Anything By Doing It Right.
So just do it repeatedly with extra vigour.
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