What Am I Doing?Honestly I'm not sure if it's low self esteem, stubbornness or just plain stupidity.
I always put myself in situations where I know that I'm only going to wind up getting hurt but I do it anyway. Then when it happens I beat myself up for letting it. I thought that fate had brought me something very special last year. Even when I saw the warning signs, I went for it anyway because it seemed meant to be. I couldn't have been more wrong if I had tried.
I feel so alone but I'm so shy that meeting new people is all but impossible. I don't drink or use drugs, which is all the people I meet seem to enjoy doing. I don't relate well to people well I guess.
I hate my appearance. I keep saying that I want to live healthier and better but I never follow through. It just doesn't seem worth it to me because I feel like why bother, I won't succeed anyway. I would love to meet the right person and fall in love but at the rate I'm going that will never happen. No guy I like ever likes me back. I worry that if I did get involved with someone that I would ruin it. It wouldn't be the first time.
My mind is constantly racing and I couldn't focus on anything if my life depended on it. I make the dumbest mistakes because I'm not paying attention. I feel like such an idiot.
I'm not doing anything with my life. I change my mind every other day about what career I should pursue or even a hobby I should learn to occupy my time. I'm just not talented at anything so I give up on whatever I try and make excuses for not following through.