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Beating Myself Down, Time And Time Again

Several people on here have asked me why I'm always so hard on myself, in my other stories. Well I thought about it, and these are the reasons why I do it: Number one, I didn't really want to admit this reason, but I'm going to, why? I'll get to that later, you see, I like to get compliments on things just as much as the next person, but truthfully I don't get all that many, or at least I dont feel like I do. Being hard on myself, is kinda this pathetic little way for me to score a few, because doing that sometimes gets people to say nice things about you. and ya, like I said I'm aware it's pathetic. But that's not the only reason why I do it, that's just one, a bigger reason is because I'm aware of what my bad qualities and flaws are, but I'm not as aware of what my strengths and good qualities are. Probably because I focus more on my flaws, and even though I do sometimes try to figure out what I'm good at, and what good qualities I actually have, sometimes I want to see if others can as well, I'll let them venture into the diamond mine that is me, and see how many diamonds they can actually find. And sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.
The third reason why is because, after many years of reminding yourself about all the bad things about yourself, you start to realise, that, that's just who you are. And you accept it for what it is. Because of that, you feel less shameful about admitting your flaws, and bad qualities to others. So there you have it, reasons why I'm hard on myself. Do I see this changing? No, not anytime soon at least
Hatebreeder59 Hatebreeder59 22-25, M Jan 26, 2013

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