I always push away the ones i love the most by doing stupid idiotic things. Or just by worrying too much. I hate it. I hate myself at times because I'm over weight and just not that happy of a person. You could be having a great day and i will drop a bomb on it with my problems..i can't help it. It just happens. So that about sums it up. I think my nanny was right when she said i was a worthless and good for nothing.