Low Self-esteem? I Wish.

I'm one of those guys who you may see on the street as the confident person who talks and hangs around with all of the girls, talking with them as though I know what I'm doing.

I don't. I never have. I never will. It's just bullshit after bullshit. And the thing is, I don't get it. People say that I'm cool, say that I'm awesome, say that I'm their hero and I'm perfect, at least one person does. But the thing is... I don't see. I can't. I see myself as fat, ugly, retarded, annoying, clingy, etc. etc. Basically anything that says "I suck," I think I'm that. I can't help it. I just believe myself to be the worst human being in existence.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that I'm not. At the very least, I'm better than Hitler. But, I'm possibly the worst characteristic of traits anybody can have. I'm clingy, I'm self-conscience, oversensitive, I think too far into things, and I'm stubborn. I can't help it. I've tried. I have friends, I know that. And they tell me "Oh. You're awesome, Drew." But... As much as I wish to escape from the depression this creates, I can't. I can't see what they see.

Either their blind, or I need better glasses....
FengShui FengShui
18-21, M
2 Responses Aug 1, 2007

There are times in all of our lives when we feel as though no one truly knows us.....God bless you..:)

I can think of several things you might want to try. The first is to ignore what everyone else says for a bit. Explore what it is *you* want for yourself. Who do *you* want to be, what do you want to have as your defining characteristics? Maybe the things that people talk about are not the things that you, yourself, value. Work out what you would most like to see in yourself and then work on that.<br />
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Secondly, sit down and work out what it is that they are wrong about. In what ways are they wrong? Are they misidentifying characteristics? <br />
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Thirdly, turn it about. Work out in what ways they are correct, what observations about yourself have truth, and in what ways *you* might be blind to certain aspects of your personality. Make a genuine attempt and focus on the ob<x>jective things.<br />
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Finally, it's worth thinking about that no matter what your characteristics and *you* are like, there is one important thing you *can* do and have ob<x>jective proof. You make people feel good. It doesn't matter if this is because they are identifying the wrong *rational* reasons for this (you're cool etc etc), the *emotional* truth is undeniable. This is a small, but very worthy talent, with which you can be generous - no matter why it works, it just works. Making people feel good is a great privilege and a gift. Focus on that, and maybe you will learn a bit about yourself too?<br />
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Good luck. :)