This all started when I was in middle school because I had and still struggle with my weight because back in middle school I was pretty much overweight my entire life. In middle school I weighed around 337 pounds and I would get constant picked on by kids about it I had very few friends and when I graduated and moved on to high school I was pretty much the same weight but I had some friends but I was bullied but as not bad as I was in middle school.. But anyway fast forward too my sophomore year in high school tragedy struct my family my step dad for the pasted away and I felt apart missing school didn't talk to my friends much felt isolated from the world so I turned to food for comfort until one day I have realized that I can't do this anymore to myself. So I went to therapy that helped a lot but we ended up moving I use to live in Los Angeles, went on a diet and lost one hundred pounds for a while I was happy felt like I was on top of the world we moved back to my hometown in Indianapolis,Indiana went back to school oh and btw I have two sisters so iam a middle child lol...graduated out of high school and I have joined a program that is designed to help special needs kids to find jobs we worked in a hospital so anyway ya few months went by and I have dropped a lot of weight I was and still down to 226 pounds I am skinny person I keep it off so about 7 months goes by and by then I have made tons of new friends but I ended up moving again to another state before I graduated out of the program so now I live in Atlanta Georgia it has been good for about seven months but now I don't know y but i have been feeling depressed lately about my self esteem iam a skinny person but I just have a large frame and don't get me wrong but I love shopping for clothes now but it's just that when I look at myself in the mirror I see the same old person I use to be my friends,family tell me every time I would visit them for the holidays or whenever they say oh my gosh u look great how much weight did u lose?and stuff like that but just for some reason I don't see it for myself one day I have thought about starving myself just to be thin but I didn't thank god but I won't look in the mirror and I hate going out to grocery stores because I get stared at a lot by some people I get anxiety attacks because I feel like when they are sometimes staring at me I feel like they are talking about me and some of them even laugh I try to look like it doesn't bother me until I get home and cry it is tearing me apart I exercise 7 days a week!!!
Jordanbeautiful Jordanbeautiful
22-25, F
Aug 18, 2014