Sometimes I Feel That I Have Low Self Esteem

I feel that I have low self esteem because while growing up, I never felt worthy enough to my mother.  I know she loves me, but she always gave my younger brother all of her attention.  I was always daddy's little girl and my father also did the father son things with my brother which was okay.  But whenever I showed intrest in anything in and out of school,  I would always hear from my mother that we didn't  have the money or time, but when it came to my brother, there was always the time and the money.  I love my brother dearly and our relationship is alot better now that we are older, but because of this, I never feel that I'm worthy to be married to my husband who is a wonderful, loving and understanding man.  I don't want to feel like this, but I do.

candles24 candles24
41-45, F
2 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Thanks for the advice. :D

I think I can understand a bit how you must feel as I had a similar mother - she couldn't have children, so adopted my sister, then me so that my sister wouldn't grow up as an only child. She took my sister to ballet, music lessons, shopping - all the nice stuff, but not me. My sister was pretty and outgoing whereas i was shy and a bit of a podge and I felt like I was an embarrassment to her - not what she had chosen, and if she could have given me back, she would have done it. Dad was at work all the time so no ally there. I grew up feeling worthless. I still have those feelings at times. I too have a lovely partner - I also have 2 failed marriages behind me and I have got to a point in my life - kids growing up, job I don't really like, few friends - where I'm thinking what's SO bad about me? Why can't I have a life I just enjoy without any of the bad feelings? Other people seee to manage it.<br />
The only thing you can do is keep on trying. Be less hard on yourself. Think - it was only one person's opinion (your mother). Look at the good things in your life and try to build on them. Your wonderful husband chose you - there must be something pretty special about you for him to have chosen you from all the rest. Try to remember that. Try to do things that build your confidence. Forget your beginings and look to the future. Maybe see a counsellor to talk through your bad feelings. If you think it's expensive - ask yourself - are you not worth it? If you don't think you are worth the expense, then you really should go because you are. We all are. We are worth the best in life. I guess it's up to us to find it. Be your best friend - treat yourself nicely.<br />
Now if I could just take my own advice......