Gotta Be Strong

I was diagnosed at 21 and pregnant with my first son.  What is crazy is that when I was 16 I started to bruise easily and had blood work done and was told that i had low plat lets, they did countless test for leukemia, lupus and all came negative, i had to be hospitalized at 16 for a week and had to be pumped with plat lets and after for 2 yrs had to go to the hospital for medication. Only for them to say i had ITP. Then i got pregnant at 21 and found out that i had lupus and my chances to have my son were slim. i prayed for his birth to be okay. it was but for me my fear of not watching him grow up or being too sick to play with him, got to me hard. I have to admit that I'm scared, i hate the meds I'm on. the medicine they give you helps to suppress one thing and gives you problems with something else in your body, ain't that something. 5 yrs later i have now another beautiful son that is 2months old and it is hard to be strong cause there are days that my body and mind get to me. i don't even want to get out of bed. i tell myself be strong you have kids to live for. i hate having to worry about the sun, something i use to love can get me feeling so bad. Every thing hurts, and the meds i take make me gain weight and then i get depressed. oh i wish things were simple. but if life was so simple i guess we wouldn't be who we are. i pray that god gives me time to watch the wonders he gave me create their own little wonders. time is of the essence.

proudmami28 proudmami28
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 14, 2009

Can you please tell what are the chances of the baby getting lupus when the mom is a lupus patient?

everything will be alright you will be able to see the boys grow up and be strong hard working men and if ever GOD forbid something comes up you know Im here and willing to give you whatever you need kidney an arm whatever, your my sister and I love you