31

September 14th.... I somehow made it, it's my birthday and today I turned 31.
I never thought i would reach it, for this year has been the single worst out of a so far disappointing life.
The days leading up to my 30th were depressing, I didn't want to turn 30, it felt like I was finally old and everything would be down hill, and even worse, I didn't feel like I had anything to show for my life. I was still single, and i felt like the world had left me behind.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much, in fact I shouldn't complain at all.. for its been a year of highs as well as lows.
Ill remember this year not just as the year I had my heart broken, but for a year of many firsts.
I fell in love, I lost my home, I fell ill from insomnia, I lived briefly on the other side of the world, I wrote my first poetry and my first love letter, I walked on a sandy beach under the moonlight, I lost a best friend, I started bible study, I contemplated suicide and I tasted the bitterness of betrayal.
Those are just the highlights of what has been a very stormy year, and looking back I'm genuinely left awe when I find myself still standing, looking ahead and not behind.

30 left me feeling hopeless, but 31 has left me able to sum up life in just 3 words.. It goes on.

















DiesSomnium DiesSomnium
31-35
2 Responses Sep 14, 2012

Yes... It does, and it'll get better (then worse) then better again- you are the sum of your life experiences, keep that in mind the next time you have the pleasure of spending some time with an elderly person who seems to ramble on and on and on... If you actually listen to them, it can be incredibly fascinating and educational!
(How's that to put a twist on your subject!)

I too felt this way when I turned 25.. I still have crap going on .. but a lot of the storm is over.
I am hoping when I turn 27 it will all be gone.
I feel for you.. Birthdays are not the greatest but, it can all change around still. I know many great couples who met in their 40s and 50s. Hopefully it won't take that long for you. But, things will change.
*hugs*

Thank you for the words :)

No problem.