Hate These Feelings

I have dealt with depression nearly my whole life, but it really hit in junior high and got really bad my senior year in high school.  I have had about three major episodes since 2008, one of them right now.  I had about 3-4 weeks of it being really bad, but then Thursday and Friday I felt better.  However, my mom said stuff today that just sent me spiraling again.  It is really crazy that one person can just say something and it send me down into deep depression again.  I can't stand life right now!  I seriously wish I could make this pain go away!  My stomach is all scratched up because I'm feeling so numb right now, I have no other way to feel anything.  It just hurts so much.  I want this pain to end, but I can't get it to end.