I Can Honestly Say ...

I am NOT my disorder now but it is a part of me ... when i get sad i tell my mom i just wish i was normal ... and she tells me that I am normal...  im normal for me .having such a serious mental illness has actually made me take better care of myself ..So all in all it kind of shapes me ...But i am not my disorder .... I love being me ninety percent of time ...  I tend to cycle in mania or hypo mania alot ..which is so great ... I love mania until i have psychotic symptoms which if i keep my stimulation down normally doesnt happen ..

starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 19, 2007

I wish I always liked being me. I feel psychotic and uncomfortable. Do you know you are psychotic or does someone else have to tell you. If I even have 3 days of being really up I start to get psychotic. It is so uncomfortable, my thoughts are everywhere and my ear is hot and i see little dogs and i can't focus and I am paranoid someone will find me out. I am not totally lost, but wondering what is wrong with me and how you feel when you have psychotic symptoms.