I Have Many Close Ep Friends
I mostly wonder why i always have been a loner...shoving people away...creating walls around my heart...and just managing to go by life..
my family is the only thing i ever missed..get all worried about..and thy were so far were the people whom i hate to see go away..
i mentioned sumwhere perhaps in one my story tht i hate whn my mother always sees me off....!!!!
i live far away from home..and as my work require i hardly get to go..home...its always..months..and only get holidays..of few days..i miss my home..so very much..evry time..i went back home my happiness..gets manifold the lonly heart..start beating again...while at my work-place...i just get up do work...every day rituals and return back to my room..closed and lose myself in the walls...i never had friends...
and at home...i feel alive..breathing....thn holiday...finish..
and i return back to my dead self...i always take an early morning bus to go back....from my home..its been seven years now...and my mom..always wakes up to see me off..
ths is the saddest part of my return...she wud just stand by my bus window and wud tell me to call..since past seven years we both are following ths process....
and since past seven years evry time she asks me to take care of myself i cudn't find words..just node..she wud b still satnding and the bus wud start...
as i lose her sight..i begin to feel lost....it s as if sumbody is taking my breaths out...thread by thread....i feel knoted...bundled in myself..
ths by far had been the worst feeling...i ever felt..and only my mother can generate emotion ths powerful...
i never felt ths suffocation for any one outside my family....never but today i did...
i discovered...ep accidently and since tht day it has been a part of my daily life...i have made many friends here....and have shared wth thm a lot....
suddenly i am no longer a loner..in many ways i m opening up...
most of thm are just making me unfold my heart....and get me back to steady myself...
suddenly....whn i m face to face wth a parting wth thm...i m feeling the same dead..suffocation in my chest....as if breaths are cuming in just a little quickly...
i don't why we miss people...why we have to part..why we ever let those we care for go....i don't knw the reason..
but....i have ep friend i want to tell i hate to see u go...i hate the uncertainty of parting and i wish i never have to say bye...u all have done so much for me...
mayb i can repay u in sum way...
