Scarred to the Point I Feel It's All Over

I know almost everybody can relate to having some acne in their teenage years, but I've never met anybody who could relate to me.  About a year ago I started developing cystic acne all over my body.  Imagine the chicken pox, but then each nodule is about the size of a marble.  I couldn't lie down on a bed of feathers with cringing, I couldn't lean back against a chair.  I got an accutane too late, but after 4 months 99% percent of my outbreaks were gone, even currently 2 months after I stopped treatment it's still all gone.  Unfortunately, you don't go through something like that without carrying scars, a lot of scars.  My back is the worst, it goes down my arms and chest a little too.  My face was spared though and you can hardly tell I ever had acne, which is awesome.  But (because of the scars) I still can't go to the beach, I can't change in the locker room, and it wouldn't even be reasonable to try and start a relationship with a girl even though I've had several advances in the past year or so (that's a horrible story in it's own, I don't even want to detail it).  These facts have led me to be a recluse.  I am alienated from every single one of my friends and family, I have nothing anymore.  I do have some good news though, I'm getting laser surgery to hopefully get all of this **** removed my body in 2 months;  I would have done it sooner but accutane makes your skin extremely sensitive, so the laser treatment could make things worse.  I hope I can build myself a life in community college when my classes start in one month.
Dawner Dawner
18-21, M
5 Responses Aug 8, 2007

:( that sounds so horrible, But it's awesome that you're better now! I'm really close to a cousin who had something very similar to what you had, and because of all the helpful people around him he has a lot of friends and a very supportive girlfriend! He's still a little bit shy about swimming and things like that, but he's still doing really good :) I hope everything goes well for you and i hope you can find a girl who accepts you, flaws and all!

My husband still suffers from the EXACT same thing u are describing...he always wears a shirt in the pool...covers himself if our children come in while he is shirtless, calls himself names (shrek, disgusting, deformed) and even used to wear 2 shirts to hide the bumps from showing when really bad ones developed. Do not let this keep u from love...I know he hates it, I know it bothers him, but I kiss his back and arms and he has had this problem off and on for 16 years...Even when u treat the outside proof of this problem ur inside insecurities won't just disappear...I wish u love and an understanding partner ;)

dont let that get you down i have alot of scars cause i had alot of surgeries in my life but you cant let that get you down try to think of the positives, even though i know that can be hard sometimes

Thanks man. That really sucks you can't use accutane, that stuff did me ****ing wonders, even if it was a pain in the *** to go through.

I am sorry that your skin has made you feel so bad.. as I told you, I have had cystic acne too, mostly on My face, but also My shoulders and upper arms and once you get those cysts they just go hard and dont leave unless you have them removed.. at least your face has been spared from it. Accutane has side effects of its own and because of those I couldnt use it so use Proactiv but I really hope the laser treatment works for you and dont let it put you off getting a girlfriend.. if someone cant see beyond your skin, they arent worth knowing and there will be someone out there who can. :-)