I Stopped Crying.
Hi. I'm 13 years old and I found out I had Marphans Syndrome last weeky. I was at the doctors with my mom getting the test results. I wasn't hopeful, I had passed the clinical exam. The one who really wanted me not to have Marphans is my mom. When the doctor came in and told us it made it so much more real. I felt like I couldn't talk. I knew if I did that I would start crying. Once I started I knew I would never stop. We left shortly after that. I was silent the car ride home, and I was silent as I went to my room. Mom didn't expect me to go to school. It felt like forever but Mom finally left to go to the store. I cried and cried and cried. I didn't know it was possible to produce that much tears. The worst part is it was a silent cry. The type of cry where you will yourself not to cry but your so sad you can't stop. So you just keep crying and crying and crying. I cried all weekend to. I felt like something was wrong with me, like if I wasn't such a screw up it wouldn't happen to me. It was my fault and now I had to suffer. I missed my ballet class. Which sucked cause I really liked ballet. The teacher said that I had a chance of becoming a professional dancer, I just had to build up my drama is a bit more. Well at least I know why it's so low. I was also diagnosed with Pectus Excasvatum. It's an indent in my chest the crowds my lungs and heart. In my case it causes low conversion rates in my lungs. Anyway my lowest point was two days ago when I broke down crying on the bus. I just got out of science where the teacher was just being so unfair cause of all the missed work from my doctors appointments. Anyway I made it out of the classroom and on to the bus without crying. Then suddenly it all just bursted out of me. I almost told the whole bus I had Marphans. Then I stopped. I'd had enough feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't take it anymore. It solved nothing it changed nothing. It was almost as frustrating as the thing itself. So I got tired. Tired of crying, tired of bad news, tired of feeling awful, tired of drowning in tears, and especially tired of being tired. I couldn't take it anymore so I stopped. But to anyone reading this, it's actually really therapeutic clicking that button saying I have Marphans Syndrome. And writing about whats happened. I feel much better now