Should I Stay Or Leave?

i am a 32 years old with 2 little ones. My husband and i have been married for almost 12 years. Things were good for the first 3 years, then slowly started to deteriorate. Constant arguement and sometimes i don't even know what got us started because we so far at insulting each other, especially him.He will put me down as i was an object. During my second pregnancy i found on his phone message between him and this girl, when i confronted him, he first got angry and few days later explained everything to me and swear nothing physical happened. I am back to the same position presently. He still swear that nothing physical happened but he was close. He asking me to forgive him. Do i believe him again this time? do i move on? i have 2 littles what do i tell them if i decide to move on? I know i have a part in the problem but i did go to no other men!!! i am hurt and i lost trust, how to live with someone when you lose trust and you constantly battling with your own emotion about him? i am desperate for an answer, a guidance. I really want my marriage but i don't know how to deal with all the emotions and conflict i have with myself
loveb4 loveb4
4 Responses Sep 15, 2012

I hope things are working out for you. I feel for you, these are tough situations, and kids make it more complicated. You have the right to a full and wonderful life, to be loved and respected in you marriage. I hope you are hanging in there.

I would suggest divorcing him. He has defiled your marriage. It's hard when someone is cheating on you. Believe me it will happen again if you stay with him. Stay true to yourself and the children. You really don't need this kind of abuse. I have learned from experience. Believe me it is not you it is him. Perhaps he needs to look inside himself and see what is really going on. Why does he cheat and why is he using you.

If you decide to break up it can be a good time to get rid of all the negative junk and start fresh and clean. Bring the positive back in. It will give you the opportunity to figure things out without him there and for him to work on himself if he chooses. Divorce is not the end. Life goes on and we become stronger and invite positive change and more love to come in. I wish you the best.

We are still together, but the relationship is cold. It's hard!

I understand you. I also went through moments!