I Miss Him!

I know a lot of my problems are from being widowed the way I was. He was taken suddenly in a very violent, traumatic way. We were really happy, raising our two young girls. We were happy and boring and enjoyed each other and our daughters. More than anything I admired his way as a father. He lived for his kids, spent time with them and had a beautiful heart for them!
So when I remarried I assumed that's how it would be. I saw things I didn't always agree with but he told me repeatedly that all he wanted was family, his two and mine.
It's clear now that between my expectations and the reality of how it is we are never going to have that happy, loving home, centered on kids and family.
He was divorced so there was loss of love on his part for his ex. Being widowed in the middle of our happy little lives, well love doesn't die. I am trying to move forward even with my lost hopes but sometimes I just miss my first husband so much. When I see the way my now husband is with all four kids I especially miss him. I guess that's where I am right now. Missing him, wishing things were different with now hubby...
KarynT45 KarynT45
41-45, F
2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

Life is not always kind to all. Some have little kindness, while some have had no kindness, and some seem to have more than a fair share of kindness.
You had built up a home once. That home cannot be rebuilt. It is a new life and new home with some complicated building blocks that need to be. Remember that you are part of the same complicated building blocks too. I have been through life and I know in part what you are going through. I can only wish that you may find the grace to put up with whatever that is making things difficult for you. Your children come first opposed to when you first fell in love when your husband may have come first in your life.

but dont change ur mind agian. stay with whoever it is its all the same u know