Lonely Without My Husband

Hello i have a whole lot of venting to do hope someone here on this sight can maybe help me.I've never done this before so please bare with me....Well here it goes my husband and I met 10-27-11 we had a good thing in the begining everything seemed perfect like all begining relationships start,My husband and I married 10-27-12 by nov we were already haveing problems.My husband is a workaholic dont get me wrong im not complaining mind you....I also wk and it seems we never have time for one another it has caused major problems It has gotten to the point where im afraid to tell my husband what im feeling for fear of argueing when my husband gets angry we dont speak for days sometimes week'sI miss him,i miss being a part of his life were not sexualy acttive we have separate rooms. Ive even asked him if hes seeing someone else.his excuse for us not sleeping in the same room is because i have a snoreing problem (devaited septrum) guess thats the way u spell it. anyway ive learned to except that i can deal with that. even on the days hes off he dosnt try and make an effort to hold me and comfort me I know my husband loves me we tell each other everyday but words just aint enough I feel so unattrative my self esteem has gone to hell.I dont know how to approach my husband anymore im afraid to feel rejected It use too be so easy to love him.i feel like i have forgotten how to love my husband how do we get our spark back without it feeling like a chore Help plzzz so fustrated....Get this here it is Friday nite and im on this sight trying to find a way to be happy with my husband again....ughhhh
aloneinabq1 aloneinabq1
46-50, T
4 Responses Jan 19, 2013

Try reading, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It changed my marriage for the better! It's a short book but it's very informative. Good luck! Keep your head up! Love yourself.

The first couple of years are always the hardest and seem to define the relationship. I'm not an expert, I can just speak from personal experience! U have to be prepared to alter your life to fit his...otherwise...u WILL drift further away...if after u have "successfully" completed the list of u guys issues and things dont change...if u still wanna hold on...do so...if not...do not!

<p>Alone <br />
my wife and I have been married 47 years...Our marriage was in a bad place, to the point of discussing divorce...After a big blowout, she said someone told her about a book that might help....I was so desperate I ordered it that day....Ten bucks on ebay...</p><p>The book was "The 5 Love Languages"...I had NO hope the book would help...When we got it, she started reading it, but after a couple of chapters had to do chores, so I picked it up and started reading...The premise is simple, The wording isn't psycological crap, and it made sense....I don't think I put the book down till I finished it......Then the wife picked it up, and finished reading it....</p><p>A person feels good about the person who fulfills them emotionally...It makes that person EASY TO LOVE...</p><p>The whole point of the book is that different people need different things to feel emotionally fulfilled...You speak the language you understand to your mate, and they reply in the language they understand.....If both don't speak the same languages they do not give their mate the emotional support they they crave...They become emotionally bankrupt....</p><p>There are 5 languages:<br />
1 Acts of service<br />
2 physical touch<br />
3 Words of affirmation<br />
4 Quality time<br />
5 gifts</p><p>
If you need "Physical touch" And your mate speaks gifts...<br />
You are craving a hug, and sex, and she buys you a ROLEX......<br />
You become emotionally bankrupt.....</p><p>Your wife craves "words of affirmation", and you tile the bathroom....She is going to be pissed....</p><p>You are both saying I love and support you, and both of you hear <br />
nothing but gibberish....</p><p>If two people decide they want to love one another, and want their partner to be emotionally fulfilled, The book will show both of them how...</p><p>People who learn how to communicate have less conflict...It's as simple as that...</p><p>Saturday my wife was in a bad mood...We are doing some work on the kitchen, and she felt she had wasted the morning because she couldn't find a light fixture....She came home and began acting out in a negative manner.....In the past I would have picked up on it, fed off of it, and a blowout would have ensued...DEAD CERTAIN.....</p><p>Instead I tried to tease and reason her out of her mood...Everything stayed light, and no fighting...</p><p>Sunday I lay down after breakfast to watch TV. The wife joind me and said she had been silly for being in such a bad mood the day before, and was very affectionate....</p><p>We had HONEYMOON SEX for 3 hours.....It was absolutely one of those lovemaking sessions that you always remember.....</p><p>It was not the first time we have done that since reading the book........</p><p>How much would a day like that mean to you.....</p><p>If someone had told me they could make this big a change in my marriage, for $5,000 cash....I would have paid GLADLY.....Not bad for $10 on ebay....</p><p>Good luck<br />
the woodchuck</p>

hi were in the same situation,but were now in seperate house,try to have time set a dinner date or travel togethere go out,have fun...i know what u feel,just be patience... smile