What A Crap Life..

hi,i have msk,i have been suffering with it now for about 7 years,it got so bad that 4 years ago i had my left kidney removed as it was full of stones,the problem was that my right kidney had not developed to its full size,its about 1/3 of the size it should be.it was not ecpected to function ,but after i had my left kidney removed it started to work a bit,i have now been told that this to has msk and has started making stones.the pain is unbearable,i was on so much pain relieve before i had my left kidney out that it was unbelievable i.e morphine patches,pethedine tablets,tablets to stop me being sick,tablets to stop me being constipated,taplets to make it easier to go the toilet,the list goes on.after i had my left kidney out i promissed that i would not do that again.i lost my buisness as i could not concentrate with the pain,or stop awake because i was on so much pain relieve.my relasionship has suffered to the extent that we have now split up,but because i signed the house over to her two years ago because i was worried that i would lose it because of the dept i was in and i wanted to make it so there was no problems in case i died.we now have to live together in the same house which is breaking my heart, because i have nowhere to go and no money,my ex partner has had enough i suppose,because it had an effect on my mood .i now have opted to inject myself with morphine at home because i was so fed up of going to hospital all the time in pain,i won,t take tablets and patches again,if i do then that will be it for me,i,m sorry there is no happy ending ,but i just am so tired of all this that i just go one day at a time,i now have a crap health,no partner of 19 years[which has destroyed me],i will lose my home after christmas because she wants me out and there is nothing i can do because the house is in her name,i won,t be able to afford a two or three bedroom house which means that i can,t have my children to stay with me,and my 11 year old son is the main thing that has kept me going,but i do love all my childen very much but they are older than him so do not need me as much,i wish that i could write something positive and nice for you to read ,but at the moment i can,t.they can do nothing for this desease that i have except to try to control the pain,but because of the drug that i take some times it is impossible to get my prescribsion done because its morphine injection,i know that i am to some degree addicted to the morphine,but it is the lesser of two evils,when i was on the patches and all the tablets i was addicted then,it is actually better for me to take morphine this way than to have the patches etc,because of all the side effects,there are no side effects apart from the addiction side and maybe sometimes feeling a bit sick from the morphine ,i do hope that one day i will wake up feeling happier,but at the moment i feel so alone,i have know one to talk to,i do so want my ex to understand what has gone on and maybe start talking to me,i know she hates me for what has gone on,and i don,t blame her,she deserves to be happy,i just wish that her happiness included me,i think if i had that then i could start to try and rebuild my life,as for what the future holds for me,i,m not that hopefull,all i can do is take one day at a time and pray that they may find some way of helping me and the so many others that suffer in silence............mw  ,just thought i would add to this ,its funny that when you think life can not get any worse,it supprises you,my mother has today been told that she has cancer and there is nothing they can do,but i suppose that in one way  she is lucky,we have also been told that she had demensha,so she really doesn,t know what is going on.they say that god works in mysterious ways,i,m sorry to write this to all you believers out there,what a tosser he really is
tubbywest65 tubbywest65
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

hey iam muksin male indonesian 24years old blood group is b i want to donate my kidney if u need u can communicate by fb m0u chin or mobile(indonesian mobile) 083129389301