It was one of the first calls I ever went on. A shooting in the middle of a blizzard. The wind was blowing hard, constantly changing direction, and it was so cold it would take seconds to chill you to the bone and hours to feel your fingers properly again. It was around 1 AM and the snow was flying and so dense that you couldn't see further than 100 ft in any direction. It was so dark that the flashing lights from the patrol cars, the fire engine, and the squad felt violent. Stumbled through the snow, which was so deep you couldn't tell where the street ended and the side walk began, up to a bar. In front, lying in the snow, with his arms outstretched and his mouth just slightly parted, was one of the most handsome 21 year olds I've ever seen. His eyes were open and they had blood leaking out that trailed down the sides of his face, just like tears. A little trickled from the corner of his mouth, his teeth tainted red. He wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing. You can tell when someone is dead, the stillness is so unnatural on a human body. Cut open his clothes and there it was. The bullet hole on the left side of his upper chest, straight through his heart. The snow all around him was red and he was so pale. His older brother stood there, looking at me desperately, expecting me to do something. His hands were covered in his younger brothers blood from doing CPR before we got there and he was crying. I looked back at the boy, lying in the snow. My partner told his brother that he was sorry, but there was nothing we could do. I covered the body with a sheet the best I could, the wind was blowing fiercely. I stood up. The wind blew even harder and lifted the sheet from his face and then stopped dead silent for about 5 seconds and all I could do was stare at his beautiful face, surrounded by red, too cold to melt the falling snow. I can see his face perfectly in my mind. He was absolutely beautiful, even with all that ugly around him.
lilHuman lilHuman
26-30, F
5 Responses Sep 2, 2014

Beautifully written. I too was an EST and there are certainly scenes I will never forget. I wish I could put them into words like you did, it would probably be very therapeutic.

I felt cold, uhuhuhuhh (shaking)

I beleive everyone has things that happeed that they will never forget

I completely understand the feelings you felt then and the feelings you feel now. I worked in a city, listed in a documentary, as one of the nations killing fields. I have seen enough death and violence to last me a life time, but one that stands out is a nineteen year old young man who was shot in the back of his head execution style. There was a large pool of blood around his head. His fists were closed and his thumbs tucked inside. That is a sign that he knew he was going to be killed.

Time heals these kinds of things.
Stay safe.

I work in an urban city, made the list of the 5 worst places to live in America. I see it all the time. He was my first young and murdered. I think that's why the memory is so clear.

Are you l e

What does that mean

No, I'm a medic. We're always called to pronounce the DOAs. My city is very violent. Shootings almost every day. Abuse. Neglect. I never knew how many people have absolutely no respect for life until I began my career. I see people at their most vulnerable on a daily basis. Fear. Pain. A unique experience to witness the most horrible of the human condition. Definitely a daily reminder that absolutely no one is invincible.

We don't have medics here. They are all paramedics and they can't pronounce. The city I mentioned is only 2.5 square miles in size. Our average response time is under three minutes. For a city this small to be named as one of the nation's killing fields means a lot.
You are right, in our respective fields we do see people an the most horrible of conditions. We had a call once where a woman shot and killed her brother, because he changed the television.
I hope you have someone good to talk to, so you can release all this negativity from your mind and not have to carry it around with you.

I talk with the guys on my service, we all use each other. I am a paramedic, we use those terms interchangeably here. Our city is huge and very busy. It's mind blowing the things people do to each other over minor infractions.

It is mind blowing. I once held a 16 year old boy as he died, shot in the heart. There was nothing I could do to help him. An angry father was searching for his daughter. This boy did not answer the father's questions satisfactorily, but the most difficult thing for me is dealing with the family and friends who are left behind. As you know, a body wherein there is no life becomes... I wish I had the words to describe this phenomenon. It is like they are no longer a person and the effect they have on us is different.

I completely agree

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Are you a paramedic?

Beautiful story you wrote but so so sad. I think your a gifted writer

Not "beautiful" story, just the writing... I kinda wish I had not read story though. Terrible!!

Yes, I'm a paramedic. Thank you, I used to write frequently, I don't do it anymore. I used to paint and sketch too. I should probably pick up those things again, I miss them.

Your gifted for sure! I wish I could be that good with words! Heck I can't even respond right here! Lol took me three tries!!

Lol, you're funny though, that's an asset for sure :)

:) yeah I'm a goof, I can sketch stick figures! Oh, AND, The other day I watched a video about how to draw animals using circles squares and triangles. I made a bird looking thing. I threw in some lines and rectangles it actually kinda looked like a bird! I was so happy! Before that Vid I could draw like a 5 yr old, now you might think I am a 10 yr old drawing, I'm stoked for real!

Lol. It has been years since I've drawn anything. We're probably at the same level haha

Get busy girl! Let's see some ART! :)

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