My Biological Parents

My first real memory of life was when my twin brothers Nick and I were about two. My mother was a prostitute and drug attic,so pretty much white trash but she passed away giving birth to me and my twin. Well I rememember my abusive dad getting mad and hitting me and my brother with a baseball bat and we were of curse in a lot of pain. The thing I will always remember my father saying is "You damn kids, learn to f**king deal with pain" then he threw us in the car and dropped us off at these weird people's houses.> My dad was a bad man, and use to starve and beat my brother and I. When we probably have just turned four my father beat us until we passed out. Our neighbors must have heard our screams and called the police. We were adopted around six weeks later at age 4 to a new family. I consider my adoptive family my real family, we were excited because we finally had good parents, and we got three older brothers who are very nice.
But of course bad things are bound to happen. When I was nine I was taking a walk in my peaceful neighborhood. All a sudden I felt someone grab my arm and pull me in the bushes. I saw the man face and it was my biological father. I screamed as loud as I could and tried to get away but he was stronger then me. I was raped that day, but worst he punching his fist up their and totally destroyed my right ovary. The pain was so servere and I passed out. I woke up in a hospital bed with my second family around me crying. My biological father went to jail.
Two years ago when I was 14 I was taking a walk in the park, which I did a lot. This walk wasn't ordinary though, I had the feeling someone was watching me. I started torun toward home. I had just stepped foot on my property when I felt a hot burning sensation in my leg. I looked at it and there was a bullet in it. I went to go in my house but I couldn't walk and collapsed. Right before I passed out I saw my biological father satanding in the distance with a smirk on his face and a gun in his hand. My father was convicted guilty of attempted murder and sentences to 23 years in prison. Last year I got in abusive relationship. Lets just say I almost died.
Every night I scream in my sleep. I know none of the memories will ever go away. I'm on depression medication but I'm trying hard to get off them I don't like taking pills. Worst of all every time I cry I feel so weak and helpless, so I stopped grieving and am trying to be strong.
aliejameson aliejameson
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 18, 2013

This is perhaps the most heart breaking story I've ever heard. I feel...so bad for you. I read this to my husband who began crying with me.
I can tell you are a fighter dear. Please believe the worst is behind you and someday this will all be something so distant in your mind you won't think of it often. I worry about your chance at conceiving someday with your ovary having been damaged but hopefully you will be alright.

Be strong darling...you've been through hell already...you can handle anything! Hugs and blessings to you!

:( (((HUGS)))