Death By Force

Weird enough, now I want to go to Nazi Germany and suffer in the Auschwitz prison and other 'death cells', not to die, but to see the hell with my own eyes.
That will teach me, what to complain about, what to cry for, what to study for, what to live for. We in this world, live like medieval kings. we get everything and everything we want someone gets it for us. We are no longer satisfied with enough, we need surpluses! We like to think ourselves us the lucky ones and the very powerful, who can create rockets, who can go to moon and who can win war and who can have surpluses.
In Auschwitz, the prisoners lost everything, every certainty, and every Surpluses, and everyone, instantly. Standing at the gates, looking at the crematories and breathing the scent of burning human flesh, I wonder, what it felt like, I wonder what a person can think at that situation. At that gate, nothing mattered, money was useless, and degrees were useless, Titles were useless. Everyone was same, everyone was Jew. At the gates of hell, till eternity, one must wonder, 'what did I do, to deserve this?' It was too late to ask questions like this, and too late to complain. People would pray to God and look into sky or somewhere for some sign of a miracle, for some proof, that there is mercy of God, that there is God.
In this dreamy condition, too real to be called real. There stood thousands of children, women and men and babies before the gates of concentration camps in Germany, one being in Auschwitz. These people, now standing in pain and wondering if this is real or dream, all of them had a optimistic past, all had surpluses and all had everything I have. Yet, I am guessing, that now, nothing matters for them, but just to keep themselves safe, bare minimum was enough.
Standing on the gates of Auschwitz, there will be selection. There will be two groups. "Men on the left, Women on the right" One of the group will be send for human experimentation's, and the gas chambers. The second group for forced labor, until death. I wonder, which group will I be in.
'I like to believe, that the people they were burning, were dead bodies, but who knows, if they were anything but dead, may be just tired.' -- a survivor

Yet among this unthinkable, unreal brutal conditions there were people, trying to help the others - Mothers trying to save her children, inmates trying to warn the people and advising them, so that they were not sent to the crematorium. Fifteen year olds became eighteen, Old became young - they were asked to lie of their ages, in hope that they will be selected into the better group.

Families separated, friends separated, everything gone. Yet they lives. Some survived the holocaust, to tell the tale. Children survived, women survived and they became the witness to the Garden to Eden, where God and devils dwell. There hope, miracles and help, did not came from some divine creature, but from ordinary people, who we would normally ignore, like the person sitting beside you in a bus, or a person who you thought was so stupid. Yet there, these ordinary people were filling in for the Gods we worship. Some, tiniest sign of kindness was enough, a small smile was enough, a small bread and light soup was good enough. People stopped complaining, they tried to help each other. Some were still worshiping the Great God, who sits in heaven, ignoring the Gods all around him, gods in human form.

Reading the book (Night by Elie Wiesel) was so tough for me, and I will read it again. Reading how a 13 year old was hanged, and how Dr Josef Mengele used to do experiments on children, how babies were thrown in pits of fire, how people were forced to dig their own grave and then shot. I wonder, and I wonder trying to push myself into imagining the condition there. There you can see the real human instincts. That is the place, where Gods are born. There, the sick can stay alive for days without any treatment, there one sees miracles daily.

What I feel, is that, may be millions of years ago, such situations were common, because how else do these instincts, such strengths were developed. Cannot tell, if these strengths are special to humans, or to every living things. I want to know how Kindness was developed, how it evolved, which changed each one of us into Gods. Now one can choose to be God or a devil. Hitler should have done some kind things. Definitely, if he was human, then he must have for once shown some kindness.

History within each one of us is trying tell us, how to be gentle and how to be kind. But do we have time to hear them?

I don’t really want for these things to happen to me, but I feel that if I could experience some degree of it, I may be able to express my grief for them. Thinking about the concentration camps and writhing this essay, I find I am very limited by words. I am feeling suffocation, not being able to cry and to scream out loud and say to the world, what has happened in Germany in 1944. I wonder, if I could survive Auschwitz. I wonder, if I will be counted among the dead or the living. But this is not about me, it is about my life, it is about what I want to do in life, this is why I am studying Computer Science and this is why I love biology. This is why I love Anthropology. I will go see these places some day. I want to prevent another Hitler; I want to save people from themselves.
arjob arjob
22-25, M
May 10, 2012