I'm Pretty Sure I Met the One

I think if you say 'the One' with a capital 'O' it means God.

I think I met the one. I let her go/ left her suddenly. Whichever way you want to look at it.

I let her down. I threw-away my chance.

I must find a way to move-on. I just feel like there is no moving-on because I already found my purpose. Oh god my hands feel like lead typing this, whole body crushed with the certain knowledg my greatest reason for living is behind me. And I  march on away rfrom her. What a way to think negativly, eh?

I must try to make this story more positive.

Can I write about her?

No I can't!

She is an Angel.

Words are not worthy of her.

No real names are allowed here... my best friend

B.A.J., forever.

TheLuckyHobo TheLuckyHobo
31-35, M
4 Responses Mar 10, 2009

Hobo...I'm not sure what I can say to make this any better. But if she is the one...you haven't lost the chance. If she is meant to be...she'll be back. One day soon enough. My thoughts go out to you my friend. *hugs*

Thanks, me too. I am so glad I came to EP. :)

ugh.. yeah this is an old story now.. from March, but talking about how I've been feeling for the last decade before that.<br />
<br />
It was over a decade ago that I last saw Beth. She was my first real friend, I got too over-attached.. she was my best friend as well as my first real friend, I fell in love with her because she was so wonderful and compassionate, and she loved me (as a friend) which no one else had done before, and I thought she was the only one who could. I was in love with her for a long, long time.. only started letting go this year, but I feel different now.<br />
I think I was afraid that I'd never find anyone else who would accept me or love me after I told them about who I really am, where I've come from, and what my life was like in the past, and that I'd never find anyone with as much compassion, who I would love... but I was wrong: <br />
It turned out that I could be loved by someone else; I just thought I couldn't because she was the only one to have ever loved me, and I wasn't making any new friends.

You shouldn't have to worry about trying to always be positive! Though I do admire you for trying to, it would drive me crazy if I had to be upbeat all the time.<br />
<br />
This is such a sad story! I feel this way too sometimes...like I missed my chance. :(<br />
<br />
I know that there are more then one purpose for our lives though. I think in fact that there are hundreds of purposes for us. If you lost someone, or left them, it doesn’t mean your life’s purpose is gone….as much as it feels that way. <br />
<br />
It just means one chapter is over, and you are on another one now.