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It Soothes Ur Pains

yes it eases the pain- confession- scary though aint it? I mean thinking of the many hearts uve broken- the bad u have done- the numerous times u have lied- the truth u have denied... so sad!!! but think of someone giving away ur secrets to the ones u love- ur intentions- ur aims- ur deeds- how would that feel?

How would it feel if ur little sister finds out u had deliberately ruined her new rosy gown cos u were jealous of it- or ur boyfriend realized u have feelings for some other guy in the class? and wot if whoever is going through your experiences recognizes you!?

I was still a little girl when I realized that I cant trust my mum and dad and tell them everything- they always prejudged me, my feelings, my needs! I was very young when I realized u cant rely on ur teachers, cos they wont live up to their promises even if they wanted to- I was in my teens when I found out that ur boy friend wont be a good confidant  either- the selfishness in us human beings wont let us see the good in people, we want them for ourselves!! not for what they really are? I speak with God in my solitude, but u know all the ritualizing confuses me! I dont want to abide by the rules, I want to speak with him freely, in my own words, my own language, while I'm sleeping, running to work, eating!!

I know he will understand- he wont  find fault in me for that!!!

I'm stuck in the middle of two different cultures- two different faiths- and I'm sick of it- I dont knw which one is right!!! I want to chose for myself- why do people liveing around me want to take the decisions for me- why push me???

I'm 24- I'm mature enough- I might make mistakes but I have to learn for myself!!!

sheenas sheenas 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 11, 2008

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Perhaps Jesus has or is knocking at your hearts door? Do you wish to find truth? The only way to see through the hazy glass in the door of your heart is to open that door of your heart and you'll probably see the Truth come near. That Truth is with Jesus Christ and It is a gift that is offered to all. When someone recevies it the angels in God's heaven rejoice with praise. Do not believe that you are not worthy. You are loved. And all your wrongs have been paid for by God's own son. He was the promised perfect sacrifice, the only one, and the one who is offering you this gift. If you will never accept it He cannot pardon you and you will always be condemned by your wrongs. I will pray for you and PM me if you have ?s

Actually... until or unless you conclude for yourself what it really is that you believe it won't be yours... just the hand me downs from someone else.<br />
I am not well liked, but my beliefs are mine. You think you got it bad? Wait till you decide you believe in polygamy!