It Soothes Ur Pains
yes it eases the pain- confession - scary though aint it? I mean thinking of the many hearts uve broken- the bad u have done- the numerous times u have lied- the truth u have denied... so sad!!! but think of someone giving away ur secrets to the ones u love- ur intentions- ur aims- ur deeds- how would that feel?
How would it feel if ur little sister finds out u had deliberately ruined her new rosy gown cos u were jealous of it- or ur boyfriend realized u have feelings for some other guy in the class? and wot if whoever is going through your experiences recognizes you!?
I was still a little girl when I realized that I cant trust my mum and dad and tell them everything- they always prejudged me, my feelings, my needs! I was very young when I realized u cant rely on ur teachers, cos they wont live up to their promises even if they wanted to- I was in my teens when I found out that ur boy friend wont be a good confidant either- the selfishness in us human beings wont let us see the good in people, we want them for ourselves!! not for what they really are? I speak with God in my solitude, but u know all the ritualizing confuses me! I dont want to abide by the rules, I want to speak with him freely, in my own words, my own language, while I'm sleeping, running to work, eating!!
I know he will understand- he wont find fault in me for that!!!
I'm stuck in the middle of two different cultures- two different faiths- and I'm sick of it- I dont knw which one is right!!! I want to chose for myself- why do people liveing around me want to take the decisions for me- why push me???
I'm 24- I'm mature enough- I might make mistakes but I have to learn for myself!!!