We Are One

I just recently began to understand myself, how I functioned and why. I have always heard of the mpd, and like most things you assume it'll never appplied to you. I could never understand why people would want to call it a disorder. I thought everyone was like me. I guess I could have put 2 and 2 together earlier and choose not to. I am 21, I am not scared of this realisation, I accept it.

I figured if all out when I realised Nicky. She is nothing like me. She is relentless, wild, fierce, very hard, remorseless, very very bold. She is the third most dominant personality. She's the biker in us. The reason I am not as scared of her as I ought to is because I am in control of us. Me is still in control, though recently we have been switching more often and they have been in control for longer. We usally come when I, me, needs to cope with situations surrounding us. 

When one takes over, I feel like I am looking out from a safe boxed house. I have the key to let myself out and so do they.

Shell, is a mild one, she is a bit of me mixed with a lot of Nicky. She is me in dress sense, manner and demure, with the zeal, confident and guts that Nicky possess. She is the second most dominant person in us she comes fairly often, recently more often than usual, she is very sure of herself, polite but stern, kind but unapologetic. She is outgoing and fun, but alert, suspicious, untrusting. She is very lied by most people. But knows more than lets on, and is very cat like unlike me. She is the sex kitten, very sexual snd sexy, classy and elegant like me.

Madison, is the sweetheart, shy, kind, loving and naive, she rarely takes over, but when she does everything is mellow, calm, safe, and pretty, she is happy, ever giving, very generous with everything, very optimistic, and very calm, she never panics, she is the plain Jane kindda girl. She keeps us down to earth and reminds us what is most important in life is often the simplest of things. She should be loved more and appreciated but in a world like ours, Madison and everyone like her ends up crushed, heart-broken, unappreciated and used, hence why the others take over more often. She is like the baby of the bunch. She has the biggest heart and is underestimated so much.

A few years ago she was  the second most dominant in us. Led us to thinking of ending the pain, and me almost did, until Nicky.

Me, is the writer now. I would like to keep my name anonymous, me is who the world identifies us by, the government, our families and friends. I am the most doinant is us. And its best that way, we all know that. I do not control whether others take over I can't and don't want to, we are one so we act in unison, we know when one is needed and automatically it happens. We have the same morals though we are very different. I make sure I rail us back when one is going over board that ability is starting to weaken though, with Nicky especially. Madison drove us to depression when she was in control for most of a year. Me is the one with the conscience with the remorse, though we never regret, Never. We look forward never backwards, Nicky thought us that.  I am the one that monitors us, the one takes over, only me is aware of what goes on so sometimes it takes one a while to get a hang of what one is wearing and where we are and why, but that is sorted in less than a second, as me is the God in us.


mashni mashni
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 9, 2010

Nice to meet you all,enjoyed your story. Nicky sounds like a smart person with sound advice to say best to move forward, to encourage you and teach you to keep moving on.. I am in a multiple group considered multie for years the a'plphabet soup' diagnoing with the D for disorder only made it worse to try to fix how I am with others , its good to be at acceptance..Something is only a disorder if we allow it to be scrutinized as such ~ Peace Blessings The Mosaic gang