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Afraid

I am just turned 50. I have suffered and controlled, for eons, my MPD. I am  afraid, terrified, scared, that as I age, I will not be able to control, what I have for so many eons.

I need help please.

6or7notmegordon 6or7notmegordon 46-50 10 Responses Jan 27, 2008

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I am very afraid too! I am 37 and have tried through many failed relationships and jobs to control this and I am at the point where I just need guidance. I have 6 alters that I know of. And one is a mystery whom refuses to reveal themselves and I completely blackout for that period, for days sometimes weeks. And I have a man whom I really want to be with and I want to be "fixed"! He tells me that I am never consistent on how I act. He doesn't know I am MPD. So, I don't want him to leave me because I'm crazy. What do I do??? In love and 6 of us fighting for a turn.......

I can relate to what you saying, it would be good to have threapy if you not doing so already, I know it's a big step if you not but it really does help as it's too much pressure and stress for u to carry alone.

Dear 6or7notmegordon,

I would love to hear how you are doing these days, and if you are OK and feeling a little safer in the world, if you have found someone trustworthy in your life that you can share yourselves and your feelings with.. The many people who form this forum and who share with you (themselves) are people who care about you and care about your progress... Please touch base again, when you feel ready.

Kind regards

Annie B

AMB34



R

It would be interesting to see what happens if you stop trying to control, just a little, and see what happens. It might be okay. I am older than you, and it took me many years to go to therapy. I had to wait for my kids to get old enough for me to start falling apart. Meditation has probably been the best thing for me. It gave me the skill of being mindful and I started to be in my body. Being in my body is the best thing in the world. It is the only way to really be safe, which seems counter-intuitive, but it is true.

It would be interesting to see what happens if you stop trying to control, just a little, and see what happens. It might be okay. I am older than you, and it took me many years to go to therapy. I had to wait for my kids to get old enough for me to start falling apart. Meditation has probably been the best thing for me. It gave me the skill of being mindful and I started to be in my body. Being in my body is the best thing in the world. It is the only way to really be safe, which seems counter-intuitive, but it is true.

It would be interesting to see what happens if you stop trying to control, just a little, and see what happens. It might be okay. I am older than you, and it took me many years to go to therapy. I had to wait for my kids to get old enough for me to start falling apart. Meditation has probably been the best thing for me. It gave me the skill of being mindful and I started to be in my body. Being in my body is the best thing in the world. It is the only way to really be safe, which seems counter-intuitive, but it is true.

I am scared to death as well. It's getting harder and harder, but somehow easier, the confusion can be blamed on age.

Dear 6or7notmegordon,



Sounds like you are in distress.

Are you distressed because you are still feeling very unsafe as the past keeps coming back to haunt you?

Or your fractured 6 or 7parts are fighting against each other?

Do you have a stable social environment and support so that you can work on your issues?

These are important points to consider if you are going to do any work on your problem.

Good luck.

I understand wht you are saying. As we age the control is not as strong. What do we do as we age to keep the lid on our alters, and deal withthe aging process. Honestly I really do not have any real solid answers there. I am not sure that the so call experts really know either. We are some of the first folks with MPD wto be dealt with over time by the professional communtiy. What shall we do. this will sound nieve. In my cae my alters are some of the best safety net builders going. What one does not think of the others do. I think as while we age we will try to keep the nets inplace. When its necessary, we will get a professional involved. but the day to day, its one day at a time. No its not easy. No its not right that somhow we wound up in this damage state. But if we live our lives, as successfully as we can, we win, all of us. And be damned them that did the deeds, that broke the mold that was the core me/us in shards.

I have found out in the past 4 mths that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder,I've been to see different councilors over the years,but they have'nt really helped until now.It has'nt helped before because it was'nt diagnosed before.I understand me, alot better now.I think at the moment the key to healing is understanding that we are one and the same person only a different part of our personality.And may God show mercy on their soles , the people or person that has created us.

Contact the Colin a Ross Institute

What and where is this? ei