Upside Down && Inside Out

I have MPD. Or as they have chosen to call it of late, DID. I am a sixteen year old girl in high school. I have (currently) fifteen personalities. Jade, Cherry, Krys, Jordan, Stella, Flower, Macey, Tracey, Indigo, Brook, Brooie, Bais, Jess, Sal, and Julia. All of them are girls except for Jordan who is currently my only male personality. My world is inside out and upside down. I was sexually, verbally, physically, and emotionally abused as a little girl. Now I carry those memories and the anguish of these personalities. Other more angry and some around just to keep me happy. I have never met another Multiple but I read about them feverishly. I have a need to know I am not alone. That I'm not crazy. That I'm not making it up. Krys does the shopping and the driving. Jade takes on the fights and arguments. Jordan handles the guys and Cherry keeps me happy. They are my family. But they aren't allowed out at home. They scare my mom. They get really upset when she says something about "Fixing" them or getting rid of them. They and I are sad. Well accept for cherry. Shes always happy. Am I alone? Crazy?
Constantrepitition Constantrepitition
18-21, F
7 Responses May 20, 2012

You're neither alone or crazy. About your mom, I suggest the most stable personalities come out and talk to her. Like sorry for some of the others scaring you, but we would really like you to learn to be comfortable with at least some of us. Try to build a relationship with her somehow. The non-MPD person seeing and dealing with the alters is the only way for them to get used to them, as I've found with my friends. She may always want to fix them.
And you know you can always talk to people on here about your struggles.

at less your family knows we have been too scare to tell anyone about else, your not crazy we all feel crazy at times so.

NO you are not crazy what you have is a very real condition. There are alot of people with it on this site and they can help you. My friend has it and I have walked this road with her for the past 13 yrs. She has a very responsible job and with threapy has grown alot. Please feel free to write me any time and ask anything you concerned about or not sure about I will never judge you or lie to you. I wish your Mom could go to counselling with you and have the condition explained to her as you really need her support. You are not makeing this all up it's very real. I wish you everything of the best.

I can relate with not being able to let the alters out around my family. For some reason they just can't accept where my friends and others can. I've been dealing with my alters and their antics for about three years now, and if you ever need to talk, I'll give what input I can. Keep your head up, constant, and don't think about fixing them, that isn't your guys' concern at the moment. :)

Never get them fixed. Family is hard to replace. Btw, no offense, but Cherry sounds a little like Pinky Pie (Feral likes watching MLP) :D

She is a lot like Pinkie Pie x3 I love My little pony!

Constantrepitition and all,<br />
<br />
You are not crazy!!! You were given a gift to help you through difficult times in your lives. I really wish your mom was more supportive of you. Are you in therapy? The alters need someone they can trust and who won't think negative of them. This will give them the courage to open up and tell their stories and most of all to HEAL from the traumas.<br />
<br />
My husband and his 21 year old niece have DID as well. They have come so far from having people who are supportive of them.<br />
<br />
If you ever want to talk "any of you" I will be glad to lend an ear.<br />
<br />
Hang in there guys and take care,<br />
<br />
Lisa = )

I was looking into a support group but i dont know.

No, you are not crazy. You are not alone either ... though sometimes I (we) feel this too. I figure like you that this might be a good place to reach out. I think the idea is that we tell our stories and through them we connect, like just now between us. Keep coming!

Thank you :) I will.