I Am Only An Alter.I have recently accepted that i am not the host of this body. I have always been personality to keep nearly all of the memories (i'm not sure if other DIDs have one alter like that or not). I just always assumed i was the host and the others agreed with me. I've always gone by the host name, though I've never felt that the name fit me. I've always thought of the host in 3rd person, but i always figured that was just confusion because.... you know, MPD. but I've realized that it was more than that. The host and i aren't the same personality, and the original host hasn't really been around since i showed up. When i first became worried i was only an alter the other personalities agreed more genuinely than when i said i was host. I feel like they always knew and where simply humoring me. I feel as if i was being patronized by my own alters! But now that ive accepted this i feel like everything makes so much more sense. I can't put everything in one post, but lastly, i feel scared.
Does this mean i'm not real? I mean, i think therefore i am, right? Will i just disappear? If there are any alters out there who can give me some answers on this new confusion, it would be much appreciated. Thank you <3
unicornzbait 13-15 7 Responses 0 Feb 1, 2013