Lost

MPD is not new to me but speaking openly is. So to start off I would like to say I am not diagnosed with MPD, this is a story about my mom, who I love dearly and hope to further help her by maybe understanding it better so here I go. . . .

My mom, she is 46, gifted with an IQ of 130, diagnosed with MPD for about 20 yrs but has had them since very little. Other than her personalities, there is another gift which I link to the fracturing of her mind, she is psychic. Could the spirits she communicates with just be figments of her imagination? This cannot be from the things she has done, I have seen far to many strangers she has helped, iv heard their stories, and the level of detail of a past loved ones life to someone I know she just meet.  Well I have always dealt with it since I’ve been little (I’m 19 now), and it still overwhelms me.  At first I was never around my mother a lot, she was hospitalized a few times early in my life, not just for what she is diagnosed, but also she or they had self-destructive tendencies because of past traumas. She has gotten past a lot, and to go from where she was at to now is amazing but the problem persists. They still come out to protect her during high stress, her direct family (any one on my mom’s side), or drinking. She has a “controller”, an18yo who’s the partier out going one (not necessarily positive), even some aren’t whole personalities, and then there is mouse- who I believe is 5. And another that’s a little younger maybe 2 or 3. The youngest rarely come out but they bother me the most, seeing my mom mentally and physically be as though she were a child traumatized me, the littlest have also shown themselves around my sisters. I had to grow up fast because of this; I had to be the rock for my sisters so they had someone to go to when things got rough, to explain things they could never understand, answer questions where I myself didn’t know the age appropriate answer has always been a battle.

I truly believe that she may never be integrated, or even if that possible. When they talked to me tonight they told me they don’t like that I don’t like them, they talk to my mom about me , I just don’t know how to productively confront them. About 2 years ago I told them I only speak to my mom that they make me uncomfortable, they respectfully listened and my mother told me they will leave me alone which they did, till recently.

Basically my questions are how do I talk to them, help them feel they are no longer needed, how do I tell my mom the next day if she don’t remember talking to me. Can she integrate them or do they have to, do they really go away or hide??????

sincearly

tony,

Pasithea Pasithea
18-21
4 Responses Feb 24, 2010

Hi, It would help your Mom if you could communicate with the others and they were created to help her get to where she is now. Without them she may not be here today. It is actually not a good idea for you to suggest to them that they leave it has to be something your Mom chooses to do. It seems your Mom is still loosing time as she needs u to tell her what you said to them. When she is in a situation just normal day to day one of the others may be dealing with it and even you are unaware of it so she does still need that personality and to tell them they not needed would not be good for your Mom. The life of somebody with mpd is not like our lives and it's hard to wrap ones head around how things are and how we want them to be. It just is what and how it is. Hope this helps and sorry I know it's hard for you and I do understand.

I integrated a lot of my personalities and basically I had to become aware of the purpose they served and when I got to a point that I could handle that function I would thank them but tell them that I no longer needed them, and (its hard to describe) its almost like I would 'absorb' their personality into mine.<br />
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Thats what I did and what my experience was, I hope this helps. Good luck with your mother.

I integrated a lot of my personalities and basically I had to become aware of the purpose they served and when I got to a point that I could handle that function I would thank them but tell them that I no longer needed them, and (its hard to describe) its almost like I would 'absorb' their personality into mine.<br />
<br />
Thats what I did and what my experience was, I hope this helps. Good luck with your mother.

That is a hard question. What I have come to understand from working with my husband who has DID is. . . there is a system in place, and its first purpose was to help your mother cope with life. The multiples to not have to be a negative thing. Try to treat them respectfully, it's hard to think of them as their own person, but if they feel comfortable with you and become willing to work with you, you may not ever get them to go away but you can make it easier, less devastating to your life. There is a lot going on around me right now so I'm really distracted. Sorry if this isnt clear.