My Story Is Not Just An Experience...

Its a life notion that god really dont like ugly. You can say our disease is biological strictly coming from some type of dysfunction in our brain and as much as I disagree that it is not ONLY biological, there are so many other factors that can cause this disease, I honestly believe that it is what you have done, consumed and experienced in your life is what causes this disease. yes it is biological, but can we also think this is psychologically connected since hello it all stems from our brain....

but neways the reason why i trouble you all not only for insight but for help in a study i am trying to research on in my psychology II class.
If you want to know about me, i am 22, east coast, diagnosed april 12th 2012 but had symptoms since my pregnancy which was january 2011 so yeah ive had seizures from this, blindness, loss of hearing and loss of speech. You feel helpless to keep short. this disease is tops n not inna good way. i have secondary ms my flares just seem to get worse as the days go by especially with this weather, dont get me wrong i love the snow but my joints, my legs my fingertips and toes that are already numb feeling, really get numb when its only 23F.

So my question to you all who would like to participate (please do i love your insight for somebody who is also confused, insightful but curious with an open heart at the same time) and help me gain a new way of looking at this disease rather than my idea that "great so ill be paralyzed by 35...who the hell would want me then? who will take care of my kids? why am i still in college?. anybody please comment

Experiencing living with Multiple Sclerosis:

1.) How did you experience life before your diagnosis?

2.) What, if any symptoms occured that told you something was wrong?

3.) How did you feel about the diagnosis?

4.) What was your life plan now being diagnosed With Multiple Sclerosis?

5.) How do you feel about your life today? (Hope, Anxiety, Denial)

Your answers would be greatly appreciated, btw i might ask a few more questions just in case if i find your story truely interesting or maybe i feel like you want someone to pry but you dont want to seem needy like i do ( i kno i cry wayyy to much)
MSsurvivor MSsurvivor
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 3, 2012

1) Hmm...I'm kind of an extreme person, that is to say that I can be extremely ambitiously or just the opposite, a lazy bum lol. But up until my diagnosis (10-31-12) I was more ambitious than ever, had just finished college and planning for the future. Upbeat, sometimes moody, it comes from having a type A personality and used to stress. But now that stress is to be avoided at all costs, my personality has changed a bit. More docile, even withdrawn a little, humble I suppose but not myself. It's good and bad all at the same time.

2) Around the Fourth of July, I was visiting friends/family in my hometown of Buffalo, NY when I to feel this incredible weakness in my lower body. I was having trouble climbing my buddy's stairs. I was even having these like really weird sensations that felt like out of body experiences. In essence, I felt intoxicated, even though I wasn't. Dizzy. Just strange. When I returned to Vegas, the numbness began on my inner thighs and a charliehorse like feeling that remains to this day. It has improved, but it's always there. Earlier in the year, I was having cluster headaches. Just a brutal, every day occurrence that really made graduating college so so much harder. But I got through it with sheer will power. I also had a tingling sensation in my neck and when I would bend my head forward, my lower abdomen would go numb. But that along with the headaches have disappeared. I'm hoping the numbness and charliehorse feeling in my quad muscle will soon follow suit. I could really use a break.

3) I was scared of the diagnosis, cried in my mother's arms, which I have never done before, and then remained in a state of denial which holds true even now. I go about my day almost never thinking about this. That is until somebody asks me how I'm feeling, or the rebiff medication arrived to my apartment yesterday night. It brings a small sense of panic over me which makes me think I'm slightly in denial. I don't get defensive anymore, but occasionally feel a little nervous or panicky when I get reminders that I have this. It's a mental thing. I'm trying to fight the sociology of the disease. I'm too proud to play the role of a person who is sick at this point in my life. I'm just not ready to accept that role.

4) I plan to keep moving forward and remain ambitious and work hard, because I find that the harder I work, the luckier I get. I got some great news today and a possible new and exciting career prospect came my way today. I think I will always remain somewhat in denial, because that just seems like the best and easiest coping skill I can come up with that simultaneously enables me to maintain my self-identity, the one I had before I knew I had MS.

i was toldat 37 that i had ms and felt relief that it was a proper illness and not just something weird about me at the age of about 21 my left eye went for awalk round the back of my head it came back if icovered myright eye and then all together after about 3 days then nothing for yearsat 34 istarted falling over alot people used to thinki was just drunk all the time now i ache from headto toe and feel weak and still fall over not as much but i still fall family and friends know and help when needed but i try to live an independant life and enjoy it as much as possible(live not ms) good luck and i realy hope your ms goes into remissionfor along time