As Of 01/16/2013 I Was Diagnosed With Multiple Scelrosis..

It is not something I ever thought of getting, as a matter of fact, it is never something I thought of period. I am still in the process of learning what exactly it is.

This is still all so surreal. My friends I didn't think saw me as much have come repeatedly to see me in the hospital. My mother who I have been estranged from has come around to seeing and texting me.. and the man, the best friend who I love, has been here everyday making sure I am comfortable and smiling.

This pain and discomfort is hard to get used to. I don't like it. This is not my element. I want to be home in my own bed watching movies without worrying about it being too loud. In my bed with my favorite man to be in bed with, feeling his soft skin near mine smelling his scent all around me. Then spontaneously getting up to go where we want.

This can't be happening. Now I'm in this hospital bed ggetting shots in my stomach, steroid treatments.. and now my blood sugar level is over 150, so they are questioning diabeties along with my already crappy diagnosis.

How is this supposed to get easier, when it feels like it's getting worse? I'm supposed to be the strong go getter, the one who provides.. now I feel meek. This is like a huge nightmare. The worst part is, nobody knows how this happened.

I want to wake up already. Someone please just wake me up.
nichie1985 nichie1985
26-30, F
4 Responses Jan 19, 2013

Hang in there. It will get easier and it does make you stronger. I was diagnosed in 2006, had many attacks since then, and I am actually just now recovering from yet another one. Yes, it sucks!

Some days are easy, some not so much. But really, please trust in yourself and that all will be well, that is very important. It is very upsetting, I know and many times it makes me very angry, but most of the time it makes me stronger and stronger - mentally. It is ok to break down and cry and be upset or be confused in this process - we are only human, so give yourself time and remember, that you can get through it and that is only temporary. That is what I keep on telling myself every time I get an attack. It helps me. MS also taught me to be patient, very, very patient. Hang in there and message me if you need to chat.

Ps regarding your hi blood sugars- solumedrol in my case causes a huge jump in my bg, almost inducing diabetic ketoacidosis. That's why I smell that "fruity" odor when on the drip. But when the steroids are done mine always return to normal. The only reason I know this is used i to rep bg meters , and just did the finger sticks as my own research.

My sympathies. It takes a long time to reconcile what seems like the old you andthe stuff that defined you then and the person you got thrust into being by having ms. After having a 20 year run of this disease I might guess that this ms event, exacerbation, whatever you are experiencing will settle down, and you will deal with the aftermath (which may be minor). That's the biggest problem - the unknown. But I am confident that you are stronger than you think, and your loved ones are too. My advice is to commit to the pt, it will keep you physically and mentally in the game and give a sense of fighting back against the circumstances you now find yourself facing. Wishing you the best

Hey there, just want you to know that you are not alone in all of this MS crap!! I too have it and was diagnosis in 2002. There have been so many times that I wanted to just give up, but I find the thing in my life to make me want to keep going,especially my little 8 yr.old girl!! I refuse to let her see me give up!! I don't know anything about you aside from you being diagnosed with MS, but it seems some POSITIVE has come out of your diagnosis,the relationships that you probably thought were not so strong are gradually becoming stronger!!! EMBRACE IT!!! Your road is going to be long ahead of you and you'll need all the support you can get, just except it!!! I know I did and am glad for it!!! PLEASE STAY STRONG AND DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!!!!! If you ever need someone to just talk to,I'm here for you!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Thank you so much.. this is so nice and positive to hear and see. You are right. I'm going to.continue to fight the hard fight.

I'm so happy to hear you say that!!!!!!!! Good Luck!!!!!!