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(Sorry..this is kinda long...)

Gosh, this has plucked a string with me. I've never been in a relationship and I'm just too old-fashioned/proud to ask anyone out. I really want to be in one though. I've watched unattractive girls with horrid personalities have relationships with guys as I just sit there alone.  I've been so desperate to get into one that I've let guys use me for their own gain in hopes that they would ask me out, but nothing ever happened.  And those who I thought I was connecting with were just playing around with me. I don't believe I'm unattractive as I know of tons of guys who want to sleep with me.I don't know if anything really like me... but they never asked me out. I'm smart and easy to talk to and I have many friends to prove it.  Whenever I tell someone I've never had a boyfriend, they never believe me.

 It just sucks sitting on the sidelines while others play the game.  Today's media doesn't help, with all the romantic movies and stories about celebrities going in and out of relationships. And the love songs, tough hearing about love and intimacy when you've never experienced it. It also sucks hearing about your friends talk about relationships and when it comes down to giving advice, you can only say/do so much because your just don't have the experience with relationships to know what to say.  I just want to go out with a guy who enjoys my company, takes me out on dates, will hold my hand and kiss me in public.  Someone who'll listen to me complain and talk even if he doesn't really care, just to make me happy.  I want someone other than my mother to buy me flowers.  I want to be something other than that bitter perpetually single girl on Valentine's Day who never goes out on that day because she's afraid she'll bust into tears when she sees another girl getting a gift or flowers, being take out.  I want to throw out my teddy which I sleep with every night so I don't feel as lonely because I've found a man who wants me to spend the night and will hug me and let me know everything is okay.  I guess we don't get everything we want, so for now (maybe even forever), I'll just have to rely on my brownies for comfort and keep on praying for someone to come by....

Anywho...thanks for bearing through my rant...
babyblueee babyblueee 18-21, F 1 Response May 23, 2010

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oh far out i know exactly how you feel