I'm Just A Weirdo, Right?

So I'm 27 and have never been in a relationship. Not even close. I've never even been on a second date. All through high school and college I felt okay with this because I just never met anyone I wanted to date. But I eventually realized this was just something I told myself to justify my chronic singledom. I have always had a hard time opening up with new people but I have gotten a lot better about it. I think I'm ready to be in a relationship.
Also, I am totally normal. I'm not crazy. I'm funny. I have lots of friends and while I am not exactly outgoing, I do go out quite a bit and am not socially awkward. I'm average looking and do not have ridiculously high standards. I am fairly comfortable with myself and my life, so I don't want to here any of that "guys are attracted to confidence more than anything" bullshit.
Im not desperate or anything...yet. But as all my friends begin to fall in love and meet their "soulmates" or whatever, Im left thinking "can I just get a boyfriend.?"
Soooo any advice would be appreciated or just let me know I'm not the only one.
trickykarma trickykarma
26-30, F
14 Responses Feb 5, 2011

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I'm 27 and have never been in a relationship, but I do date a lot. One bruised ego after another and many failed attempts at a relationship, I feel like the universe should bless me with Chris Hemsworth at my doorstep. It came to a point where I lost focus on myself and I was obsessed in finding a boyfriend ie. setting myself up in bookstores or catching glimpses at average looking fellows in line at the grocery store trying to recreate scenes from Romcom films. But being a relationship virgin, I learned it's all timing and patience. Let him find you and just continue to live a fulfilling life :) I'm thankful for the company of my friends and family - I'm alone but not lonely <3

At least you had your first date, me in fact : I've never been on a first date, not even close ... and I'm 26.

This is bad, Especially when I see people with their girlfriends and wives.

Actually, the reason is that I'm not social, and It's not comfortable when I'm with other people.

I am close to 27 years old and haven't ever been in a relationship either. I tend to feel that if I can barely support myself, I can't hope to be able to get into a relationship where I feel I need to help support the significant other as well. It has gotten to the point where most of my family have given up hope on me ever having a family of my own.

so yea i am 25 male and have never had a girl friend and never been in a relationship. I see so many people I want to be with or see if anything may develop but my mind causes interference. I am looking to find someone to share time with and talk to. Almost all people assume I am some guy who just has relationships and moves on. I am a person with depth and emotions. At times I can write poems and at others I can break a bone or two. I have had feelings in the past but things have not worked out with them. I want to find the women I will relate with and connect to.

That's interesting. What do you mean by "my mind causes interference" ? I feel a similar way sometimes, I'm a 23 female and never had a healthy relationship, just bad ones or "flings" that were more than just sexual stuff but never made it to a relationship. Damaged my confidence in finding love.

WhatIi mean by it is that when I feel a connection with someone my mind takes control and says what if this happens, or what if she hates you. What if's just cloud my head and by then I am just nervous or blow it somehow. I really can't explain it that well. If given time to think I can talk about most anything and see my mistakes but not in the moment which could make or break a relationship. Its not something I say or do but my imagination causing me to alter what I do and eventually causing me to lose out on a chance of happiness. That or because of my thoughts I hold off to long and by then my chances are basically gone since the next guy who seems to not care aimlessly walks in and swoops her up. I may have confused you but thats what its like in my head.

I am in exactly the same boat as u just well the other way around so with that being said welcome to the boat and make urself at home =P.

So im curious, u think its just never gonna happen cuz that exactly what I am thinking right now.

you're not the only one .. its a lonely feeling sometimes :/ . everyone keeps saying youll find him soon etc.. etc.. blah blah but reality it feels like no one wants me ? .. chin up girll theres many of us out there.. just think of it this way. i'm way too awesome to be in relationship just look at barney from how i met your mother?? he's forever awesome :D

Me too.. I'm 27 and I've only been maybe 3 dates in my entire life. :/ I've always been okay with being single - never felt like I needed a boyfriend or cared that I'd possibly be alone for the rest of my life. But now, for some reason it's starting to bother me. Probably 'cause one of my closest friends got married a year ago and now they're having a baby? Lately though dating gives me anxiety. I went on one date a month ago and i nearly had a panic attack. which is weird, because 4 years ago I went on a BLIND date and I wasn't anxious at all. I don't get where it comes from. My closest guy friend keeps telling me to be open to it and keep trying... and as it happens, I have a huge crush on him! Really like him.. there have been a lot of mixed signals. I want to actually tell him I like him, but I feel like he probably won't be interested because he knows I'm not experience. And maybe feels like I might not be ready? I feel like with a friend I could take that leap. Or at least, it feels more worth trying with a friend who I really care about instead of someone I don't know.

Same here never been in a relationship...

You are not alone. I came to this site to see if I was the only one and you've described my situation to a T! Confident, not socially awkward, funny and interesting, but never had a date. It makes no sense!

When its meant to happen it will - let love find you =) until then enjoy ur life and enjoy being single =)

I know exactly what you mean. I am 23, almost 24, and have never been in a relationship or second date. I also was OK with this in high school and early college, but now I'm in grad school where everyone else in my program is in a relationship, and since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, this year I seem to be most affected by the fact that I have no one. I too have a hard time opening up to people, and my self confidence is not extreme but it is there. Anyway, hope it helps somewhat to know you are not alone!

I feel your pain. I'm 23, and I've always had problems opening up to people and I've never been in a relationship either. As a matter of fact, my best friend just found a boyfriend, so I know how you feel. Just believe and have hope. We will find someone one day *hugs*

I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 33. My problem is that I don't put myself out there enough. Since this isn't your problem, try being more assertive in dropping hints to let guys know that you are interested in them. Smile more at the ones you're interested in, ask questions about their interests, give them hints of some place you would like to go but have never been to, stuff like that. If he is single and interested in you, he'll ask you out. If not, then he's not the one for you, or he's taken and committed...try the next guy. Like the song says, "You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait. She said love don't come easy. It's a game of give and take."