And Probably Never Will. (sorry This Ended Up Being Longer Than I Thought)
Always been single, looks like I always will be. It's not as if I've never had feelings for anyone, because I have. Lost too many friends because of it though so I don't see any point trying to have a relationship with anyone. I'm always going to be rejected. Trying to get used to the idea that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. Many people have given me reasons for why I am single. The popular choice being to blame it on the fact I have facial hair (There are plenty of women with boyfriends with facial hair, so that's clearly not a reason.). The way I dress. I like being well dressed. Have women suddenly decided that they don't like well dressed men? I even remember someone first complimenting me on how well I dress then after hearing that I've always been single then blaming it. Points for consistency there. Even my Mum is on the act. “You're too honourable.” is her suggestion. Oh also a grand total of two dates in my life. The best one ended with a kiss, now we are just friends. The wonderful get out of “I don't want a relationship at the moment.” Why did you invite me out on a date with you then? Oh my favourite one of my collection of “I don't want a relationship at the moment.” is when I get that line then a week later I find out she is in a relationship with a man she met a couple of days after me. He didn't get that line. Thanks for lying to me. I understand you are trying to spare my feelings but I don't like being lied to. Sorry, heavy emotions here. Apologies for the rant. Wonder if I should write a book? 101 ways to be rejected. Including the indirect rejections, that you can't tell are rejections at first but sooner or later you figure out that you are never going to see said person again. It's nice that someone would pretend to be seriously ill to get out of seeing you. It was inventive though, it's an excuse you can use over and over. I gave up with her before she had to pretend to be dead. It's also surprising to me that when I tell female friend that I've never had a relationship they seem shocked. I would have thought there was something universally apparent about me that would make so many women do all in their power to avoid me especially the ones I'm attracted to. They have even reeled off a list of why I would make a good boyfriend. They may as well be reading off a list of reasons why I'm unattractive. Smart dresser: already established that my being well dressed is clearly a turn off. Intelligent: I'm a physicist. I'm sure it's impressive to some people but most aren't interested in physics. Even the physicist girls when I was studying in Oxford wouldn't date me. Friendly: equivalent to nice guy. As we know nice guys finish last. I've seen many posts on the internet trying to refute this claim. Yeah sure you can argue it away all you like, doesn't stop you going all mushy of some bad boy who treats you like dirt and you love him even more for doing it. Honestly I know women aren't all like that, just the ones who actually would stay with a nice man are all taken by nice men. Nice men aren't exactly in short supply. I'm not about to pretend to be a bad boy to try and attract a girl. That would be selling myself out. Besides they wouldn't love me, just who I was pretending to be and it would get exhausting after a while. Anyway sorry about being long and a bit of a rant. Any constructive advice welcome. Oh yes, and before you say it. I know I'm cynical, it comes with being rejected so much. It's not easy to try and forget the past, any recommendations on that too might be helpful. I have tried to take every person as an individual and told myself she isn't like such and such and other person and so forth, but it still ends up the same.