It Starting To Bother Me

I never really thought too much about not being in a relationship but now (at 23) it's starting to bother me. I feel so left out of something. Like something's just out of my reach. I'm happy for the most part but something feels like it's missing. I don't think I need a man but I want one. Maybe just to get my mind off of the one I can't have (aka my crush), since that seems to be going nowhere. Just when I feel like I'm making progress with him my morals attack me and I can't bring myself to go further, which, I guess, is a good thing. I don't know. Different people tell me different things about that whole situation. I want him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO badly but I also don't want to be "the other woman" and I know him leaving her is probably not an option so maybe I'm saving myself the heartache but it sure hurts like **** right now! Anyways, a guy I used to work with asked me out and I said yes despite not really being into him. I don't have a type, really, but I'm sort of an ageist and I don't really find guys my age or under attractive and this one is my age. Well, he told me when he moved back to my town he would give me a call and he's been back for a month now and nothing. Not even a text or a Facebook post or anything. It's aggravating because this isn't the first time something like this has happened. I get asked out and then I don't hear anything from them and THAT'S why I'm not into guys my age. They all seem so irresponsible and don't understand the consequences of their actions because when they text me three months later wanting to get together I'm not going to be there. Then there's the guys that only want to text which is equally if not MORE aggravating. I don't really consider myself intimidating. I think I'm cute but I know I'm not a supermodel, I'm smart but not MENSA level, I have a job but it's not like I make millions so why ask me out and then not do anything? And yes, I have self-confidence but I'm also realistic. Doesn't make sense. I've used dating sites in the past but it's the same bullsh!t or guys just wanting to hook-up, which I don't do. It's not like I'm sitting at home crying that I don't have a man because, well, that just isn't me but it would be nice to experience a relationship and have that human contact that I think every person longs for. I don't know. Maybe I'm asking too much.
katielucylagacy katielucylagacy
3 Responses Jun 22, 2011

Our stories are so much a like it's creepy. Just keep your head up, something will come around. You will find that one guy who will think your the one he can't live with out. <br />
But what do I know I'm a hopeless romantic and doomed to be let down multiple times. *sigh*

HA! Thanks. I'm keeping my options open and trying not just "hold out" for this guy that will probably never be mine because, well, that's just irrational. Even if we hooked up he probably wouldn't leave the one he's with and I'd be the one ending up getting hurt so I'm just trying to be open-minded and willing to go out with someone if they seem nice, whether I'm attracted to them or not because I've had many guys who I wasn't attracted to but after hanging out with them for a while started thinking they were cute. Personality is a make it or break it type thing. You could be the hottest guy on the planet but if I find out your a d-bag, I'm gonna think you're ugly, ya know? Just me... It is indeed a vicious cycle and it sucks when my friends tell me they wish they knew somebody for me but I'm just too good for all of them... Well, that's no help at all. It just makes me feel like I'm NOT good enough for them... Insecurities suck... Let me tell you. Anyways, thanks for the advice.

Well as frustrating as your situation sounds I found your story refreshing in a way. It seems like whenever I hear about women complaining about their relationship situation it basically goes something like "my boyfriend is such an *ssh*le but I'm going to keep dating him anyway". As a guy who is basically cursed to be forever single hearing things like that is about the most frustrating experience I can have. At least you aren't dating some jerk just to be dating him, so you have that going for you, and it IS a positive thing.<br />
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I'd say you should try not to get hung up on the guy you can't have though. I meet a lot of women who, when I meet them, I think "if I could have her I would never need anyone else, ever", you know, right before I notice the giant rock on her left hand. There are lots of good people out there, some of us are single, even. We're just hard to find because maybe we're shy, or maybe we're just busy working and don't get out much. Which is tough, since I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there who'd love to have a guy like me, they're just hard to find for the same reasons, or they're dating jerks. It's a vicious cycle. When I figure out how to break it I'll be sure to let you know.