It Starting To Bother Me
I never really thought too much about not being in a relationship but now (at 23) it's starting to bother me. I feel so left out of something. Like something's just out of my reach. I'm happy for the most part but something feels like it's missing. I don't think I need a man but I want one. Maybe just to get my mind off of the one I can't have (aka my crush), since that seems to be going nowhere. Just when I feel like I'm making progress with him my morals attack me and I can't bring myself to go further, which, I guess, is a good thing. I don't know. Different people tell me different things about that whole situation. I want him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO badly but I also don't want to be "the other woman" and I know him leaving her is probably not an option so maybe I'm saving myself the heartache but it sure hurts like **** right now! Anyways, a guy I used to work with asked me out and I said yes despite not really being into him. I don't have a type, really, but I'm sort of an ageist and I don't really find guys my age or under attractive and this one is my age. Well, he told me when he moved back to my town he would give me a call and he's been back for a month now and nothing. Not even a text or a Facebook post or anything. It's aggravating because this isn't the first time something like this has happened. I get asked out and then I don't hear anything from them and THAT'S why I'm not into guys my age. They all seem so irresponsible and don't understand the consequences of their actions because when they text me three months later wanting to get together I'm not going to be there. Then there's the guys that only want to text which is equally if not MORE aggravating. I don't really consider myself intimidating. I think I'm cute but I know I'm not a supermodel, I'm smart but not MENSA level, I have a job but it's not like I make millions so why ask me out and then not do anything? And yes, I have self-confidence but I'm also realistic. Doesn't make sense. I've used dating sites in the past but it's the same bullsh!t or guys just wanting to hook-up, which I don't do. It's not like I'm sitting at home crying that I don't have a man because, well, that just isn't me but it would be nice to experience a relationship and have that human contact that I think every person longs for. I don't know. Maybe I'm asking too much.