Am I That Scary?I don't know what it is. I've been described as kind, thoughtful, considerate, intelligent, a good listener. Even been called cute and handsome a few times. Though they might have just been saying that since I never heard from any of those women again after the first date.
Maybe it's the job... I work long hours. Really long hours. But I haven't had it that long. And this isn't a new problem.
Maybe it's that I'm a huge geek. But I'm generally attracted to geeky girls anyway.
Maybe it's the big, boisterous laugh? The dry wit and sometimes strange sense of humor?
Maybe it's because I'm reserved. I'm not a one date and its in the pocket kinda guy. Nor do I go for one-nighters.
I just don't know. No one told me, all I know is that every time I go out with a girl I never hear from her again. And they seem to enjoy themselves, I certainly do, no-one one appears overly self conscious or intimidated. We have good conversations and generally a good time. That's what makes it so much worse when they all disappear afterwards. Impossible to reach them, they never call back. Don't answer their emails. Whatever, its always the same.
And never, ever can I get a plain, straight, "you're an a--hole, screw off" rejection. Hell, at this point, I'd like to be rejected, even one of those wishy-washy, "I just don't think I like you that way" rejection. I'd even take "get away from me you creep" just for the novelty. At least that way you know where you stand. But no, they just disappear, leaving me to wonder what the hell I'm doing wrong.
I do need a woman in my life right now. It's not about the sex, it's never been. I'm sure its nice (not that I would know...) but what I really need is the intimacy. Knowing that somebody cares. I wonder what it feels like to hold hands. To hug. To kiss. But the way its going now... Well...