I Hate Being Single

I used to tell myself that I liked being single, I liked the freedom of being able to do whatever I wanted, but the reality is I hate being single. There is no freedom to do anything I want because what I want is what I can't have (and have never had); a relationship.

When I was younger I always had a clear vision of myself being with someone else, I could see a future that involved children, a husband, a fulfilling job, many good friends, and a beautiful home; As I have gotten older that vision has started to fade, these days it doesn't even exist. I had this conversation with a friend and told her that based on what I know from the past it can be assumed that I will be single forever, she thinks that is the most horrible thing to say...she loves romantic movies, she's still a believer.

I will be turning 24 this year, to many people that is still young, there is still time. I am feeling like by this age I should have made at least one real attempt at a relationship (I was head over heels for a guy, but he did not feel the same). I worry that if I ever get into relationship I will not know what to do and I will eventually have to reveal to my partner that he is my first date AND boyfriend. This embarasses me, but I don't know why.
CurlsNPearls CurlsNPearls
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 29, 2011

Its because you are earth dragon in astrology , you tend to be very intellectual.<br />
Dragons are somehow difficult with relationships at young age , but wise up with years:)))

I get the why u feel embarrsed i think... thats not reli important, sometimes guys might think that them being ur first bf is a good thing, kinda makes it special i guess. Stop worrying too much about fnding someone, you will find someone when you least expect it. For now just go out, have fun like a normal person ur age and you never know you might meet a good guy on a day or night out.