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I Have Never Been In a Relationship

Wanna Know Why

By: notnownotever
Written on April 29th, 2012
I have never been in a relationship. Looking around, seeing people that have had, I don't think they're better (or worse) then me. So I think the problem is within me. Not in my looks, not in my inteligence, but in some part of me that's blocking. So I want to start working on that part but I'm not sure where to begin. I do seem to complain about it constantly, but I am acctually running away from anything that is labeled "this is real, this could actually happen". I am trying some positive affirmations and during the process I realised that in my mind I have this message: "I don't deserve a relationship, cuz I have nothing to offer". On a rational level I don't believe in this, but on some subconscious or emotional or whatever level it's there. Maybe that's my problem(or one of them), or maybe I am just talking nonsense here to run away from doing something in reality :) Share your thoughts, help me, please do :)
By: notnownotever
Age: 18-21 , Female
287 people have read this story

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6 responses
  • Cagirl223
    Cagirl223

    I realized recently that I too have an emotional block similar to yours. In the past I always ran away from a potential relationship, because I was afraid to be vulnerable. I didn't love myself, and because of that I was afraid to let any guy get too close to me. But I didn't see any of that until recently. I think trying to work on yourself is good, but it's a process...it won't happen overnight. I'm a lot better than I was but I still have a long way to go. Just take the time to be by yourself, love yourself, enjoy your own company, and try to grow as a person. Eventually things will become clearer to you :) . Best wishes on your journey to love yourself!

    Jul 17, 2012
    1 like
  • hutre
    hutre

    It's uncanny how similar you are to me. Word for word, I have wondered about an emotional block, and how I have little to offer. My big fear is that inside I'm boring.

    May 22, 2012
    2 likes
  • joycub
    joycub

    Well maybe you're like me..in the back of my mind I always think, what's the point if having a relationship & putting myself out there when there is a chance I can get my heart broken

    Apr 30, 2012
    2 likes
    • jerrica
      jerrica

      this is why i don't bother to try anymore. too many times of my heart being broken and too many disappointments. i just got tired and gave up.

      May 24, 2012
      1 like
  • londonman77
    londonman77

    There is nothing wrong with you. There is no indcation of your age so I think you are younger then me so I will say be happy with who you are and love yourself. Alot of people do not like them self and think they have nothing to offer. What you have to offer is you your love and conpassion for another person. Inside you youwant to love someone else but afraid that they wont execpt you for you.

    Apr 29, 2012
    2 likes
    • notnownotever
      notnownotever

      Thanks for the reply, but this is not helpful at all. I'm 21 btw. My point wasn't for someone to tell me "love yourself". Everybody knows that. My point was that it's something that you have to work on, and that's what I'm trying to do. Find actual, practical ways to change the fact that I don't love myself. Or to change that what is wrong with me. Cuz if I'm not happy then something is wrong. And that is ok.

      Apr 29, 2012
      1 like