Malice Toward None

I have never had the privilege of being in a romantic relationship. My entire childhood I yearned to find a girl who would love me for me. I tried my best to be the best me and without realizing it that involved too much time becoming me and not enough getting to meet girls.
I know sex is as easy as paying someone for it, but somehow I am a guy who just does not want just sex. I love really getting to know people and I love chatting. Sometimes I chat too much and scare people off.
I know I can meet girls who come and go and a relationship may be possible, but my pride is making it a HUGE challenge. I realize it is selfish and unfair of me, but I struggle with knowing I am very capable of thriving like I do in basketball and then being the clean-up crew.
I realize if I could just rework my understanding of what a relationship means it would allow me to change my situation. But- regardless of what I do it seems people just leave me.
I guess I just do not think a relationship will occur for me. It might but it would mean lots of transformations in my thinking and in how I live.
startingpointguard33 startingpointguard33 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 31, 2012

Your Response


Yeah, way too often it does feel like that doesn't it. And it doesn't really matter what others might tell you at a moment like that, you will probably still feel the same way. Been there, done that. But I will say this anyways.
When you tell someone over and over he's a fool, that person will eventually believe you and stop trying. If you tell yourself over and over you will never find love and will never be in a relationship, you'll program yourself for failure before anything has even happened.
You will have a relationship. And more than one. Just stay open to the idea.

I'm a junior in high school and I find your story very relatable.