Hit That Point With People, Girls, And Life

I gave it my best shot. I worked out, lost weight, got nice and lean. I have a successful shop, I have a house and a car and nice credit. I can do anything, go anywhere, do whatever. I have friends and I am good to my parents, and then I looked in the mirror and almost sliced my neck open.

In another life I wondered if I had a wife. Maybe a kid or two. A real family. I kept hoping and I think part of me is sick of it all. I find myself becoming more and more detached. I have strong morals, but I'm done with this. Every single person is the same person. No one is different or unique. Every person I start to love turns out to be a fraud or a sociopath. Everyone has a family and it makes me tired. Now I don't think I care anymore. Every message is from someone who wants my credit card number or from someone who thinks they understand. Every female I meet is blind to anything more than designer shoes and music or wallows in self righteousness.

I spend half my time talking to people and helping them through difficult times anonymously. Fixing the world one person at a time, bringing people back from suicidal thoughts or failed marriages. And then I move on. I think this is it. I'm hoping when I leave this place I will learn that there are better people in the world, and find someone who surprises me. But for now I think I'm ready to go find a nice corner of the earth to be alone.

I wish this was an uplifting message, but something is broken in me. Too many broken hearts. And after a while you hear it all.

"You're too young to worry about that, it'll happen be paitent."
"Stop whining, be happy with what you have."
"True love will find you if you give it a chance."

Blah Blah blah.

I can't read minds. One minute I'm pushing too hard and I'm called a 'stalker' which rocks me to my core and terrifies me. Then the next girl says I'm not pushing hard enough and I must not want it. Then another tells me what I want to hear and abuses me. To hell with people. They are all the same. And I put on a brave face and act like everything is ok.

Nice to come on here anonymously and say whatever is on my mind, not allowed to do that in society. I can see someone hurting from a mile away and fix it, but I'm either a freak or invisible. So sick of mind games. Sick of ex girlfriends asking for things because they know I"m a 'nice' person, then getting upset when I shut them down.

Bleh. That felt good. Not much of a story I suppose. More of a crazy rant. I'm not looking for anything on here but I feel better making it public. No one get s to know who I am and can turn up their nose all they want. There is a joke about men and women. If you say something like 'all men are scared little boys' or 'all women are attracted to is money and bad boys' the majority will get upset and say that is wrong. The only ones it isn't true for will shrug their shoulders and say 'probably' and not give it a second thought.

Anyone like that?
QuinnMalcom QuinnMalcom
31-35, M
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

Bro, I'm not going to give you the typical advice and give you the lines most peoepl give us because I'm in your case with love and I know it and I understand what you say. People are bullshit and this world is f'ed up, for I don't expect for me to receive the best or love. All it matters is what you do and how you live your life. If you read my my blogs and my recent story "It's a Dog Eat Dog World Friendship is a Myth" I echo some of the tones and themes you do in your post. Being married is a wonderful desire, but I suspect majority of the people even in marriages are not happy with it. All i know is that it is a almost certain or huge possibility I will die a virgin and never in a real committed relationship, for nothing last forever, and in this world finding sincere relationships with people who care and treat each other right is rare.

i think you have found the wrong women. Some of us are decent. Care nothing about shoes, and have had more broken hearts than we feel humanly possible. That doesnt make us bad, we are just in the same boat. Overlooked for a variety of reasons. Too far away, or you have kids. I am the most unique person anyone could know. It just takes a while to let people in.