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None For Me...

A personal story in the experience: I Have Never Been In a Relationship
...until now. Details to follow.

If you don't know my story here's the gist of it. At 15 I broke my neck and am in a wheelchair ever since. Don't feel sorry because I finished high school with my class, went to college and got a B.S. in computer science, have a part time job designing internet software, and have been living on my own with the help of aides and nurses twice a day. My life has been good.

But I never had a relationship. Never dated. Never had a first meaningful kiss. I'm not very self confident and fear rejection. Those should answer why I never asked anyone out. I'm not very outgoing until I get comfortable with the people in the group and then I start talking, joking, being myself.

So now at the age of 40 I feel destine to be alone. I won't have to try and  'open my heart' and express my feelings to a woman no matter how badly I want to say it.

Until she came along. (Here's the details.) Someone fell for me just from reading my writings. I was in disbelief. We pm-ed each other then one afternoon she called. She was so easy to talk with and the time flew by, literally. 2 hours seemed like 20 minutes. As we continued to talk I asked her about her feelings for me, the how and why, and she answered. I was still in disbelief.

Then one day a card came from her. I read what she wrote and I felt like the Grinch when his heart grew three times its size on Christmas day. I finally understood how she felt about me and I felt the same. She broke through that wall around my heart.

So why am I writing this here and now? So others read this and not give up hope. Especially the young ones under...say 20. You still have a lot of life to live and opportunities to meet someone. Don't quit now.


 

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Posted Aug 7th, 2009 at 5:06PM
I'm glad that you've found someone! It gives me hope. I will turn 41 next month and I was in a brief relationship back when I was 22. Like you, I'm not very self confident and fear rejection. I've rarely asked anyone out. I'm not totally outgoing either until I get comfortable with the people in the group and then I start talking, joking, being myself too.

Unlike you, I've never been in accident or anything. I've had men interested in me but between the time that I was 21 - 37, I was in a controlling and at times abusive church organization. I thought I was a whole lot smarter than to get mixed up in such nonsense but I did and allowed them to dictate my dating life.

Also unlike you, I haven't found anyone yet.
+2 nods     
Posted Aug 7th, 2009 at 5:09PM
Edit to my other post: I should say that I get outgoing when around friends or when I get to know some people unless I just hit it off immediately with someone.
+2 nods     
Feeling apathetic
Posted Aug 8th, 2009 at 10:56AM
Don't give up Katia. I'm sure there is someone out there for you.
     
Posted Sep 12th, 2009 at 4:20PM
I know I would not have carried on living, had I reached 40 without ever having a relationship. It would have all seemed so pointless. I admire your courage in the face of such adversity. I only ever managed one relationship and it was a very long wait. Reading and hearing about the many relationships, which everyone else I know has experienced, makes me feel as though I have barely lived.

I am so glad that you found one, at last, despite your handicap. I am sure your story will give hope to others.
+2 nods     
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I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner
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