Not Once

I often feel this way too...I am 20, and I have never been in a relationship. I go through phases where i truely am tired of it, and even someone who initially looked interesting to me, I will not bother to even try pursueing them, even though I never got far enough to pursue one in the first place....I want to build a huge wall sometimes, so I never have to see what Im missing, altho my curiousness hurts me a lot.



There are those times though.........like when I go out for a walk at night or want to see a movie that I wouyldnt see with a normal friend, but I feel I would enjoy it more with a boyfriend/relationship. I enjoy just going out in the wather by myself sometimes, and often, i have no other choice....going outside to see whats there, I try to just think about that, and not what I dont have....because I know what its like to be depressed enough just to not have a best friend at my side (i moved), let alone a relationship.

Not sure I agree with the last post there, I'm 36 and am also in this same boat, so while I wouldn't say you should "worry", I can speak from experience that you SHOULD work on improving your situation in regards to incentive and knowledge and experience - I don't mean go around being trashy, I just mean be a little more assertive (male or female) and don't just wait for someday or have a daydream about "when I'm older and married" because waiting doesn't make it so - take it from me.

I do not think you should worry. I only had one relationship and I had to wait until I was nearly 29 for it to start. That is a poor state of affairs for someone who was loving, caring and passionate, but was just not wanted. I am sure you will not have to wait that long. If you do, you will never stop longing for one; but, by the time you are that old you will definitely be permanently damaged by the many years of waiting, however good things turn out in the end.

I feel you guys. I've only ever had one guy even vaguely interested in me, and I wasn't into him. I've been rejected a couple of times. All of my friends - ALL of them - have had boyfriends and such, and most of them have a current crush as well. I don't get to meet a lot of guys, I go to an all girls highschool. I sometimes tell myself that's why I haven't met anyone, but then I wonder, how come everyone else is meeting people??

It can also make it difficult to be around guys. I'm more nervous and quiet around them, which doesn't help me meet any new people.

I still have hope for the future, as I recognize I'm reasonably younger than some people here, but there are certainly times when I think of that song at the end of the Phantom of the Opera movie, "Born to be Lonely".

I just wonder...maybe I'll never find someone who's right for me.

But all we have is hope! There's nothing wrong with being contentedly single - that's how I am most of the time - but don't give up hope. (:

i've never had a boyfriend and i'm almost 21. i don't like telling people because they just look at me like if i was an alien. i feel like i've never really wanted one though. only reason i would want one is for the companionship. its embarrassing because i've never kissed a guy or done anything like that so when i do get a boyfriend its going to be really awkward at first

it'll happen when it's ment to.don't give up,and don't push it.When you least exspect it too and more than likely at a time your not prepared it just might happen.Keep your heads up and stay possitive.

i am in the same boat. i am a college freshman, never been kissed, never been on a date, only had one person crush on me that i know of (and then he hated me for no reason later, haha.)



so i have never really needed a boyfriend - even when i thought it would be nice to have a person to be close to, i never wanted it the way my friends did (which often felt like having one just for the sake of it...and i guess that is just not me, which is i am okay with)



i want a *real* relationship, it has been so long since i have had even the vaguest feelings for anyone, i just wonder if i will i am cut out for that kind of relationship. as it is, i have trouble truly connecting to people in general.



but maybe for both of us when we find the right person (or *a* right person), we'll know what we feel and that feeling will drive us. it might be awkward like a child learning to walk for the first time, but if we follow the feeling it'll tell is what to do for the most part. i mean, that is what life is, you never really now anything until you have experience - even if that experience comes late in the case of romance for some of us.



[and maybe, just *maybe*, we'll have it all the sweeter for the wait?]

I don't think that we eventually some time stop caring for relationships...It think it is just a phase you are being through...Everyone feel the need to be loved and have a relationship and if this is occasionally substitued by other thoughts or activities,it doesnt mean that it is vanished...

I can relate, especially as I'm now older and a hermit!



I think the important thing to do is to keep building a life regardless. Invariably, there are always people about, doing the things that people do. Potential connections seem to happen whenever its not convenient, rather than when one wants them to!



I also relate a lot to your comment, solarxmoon. One thing I'm (going to) be doing is acquiring knowledge about stuff. Not that it'll help in the heat of the moment, I think most of it is natural enough that going with the flow will suffice, but I think it eases the nerves a little - and its usually nerves that bring one unstuck!

yeah, that's kind of how I feel too- that if I stop caring I'll be completely alone forever and still be a supervirgin at age 80. I'm also kind of terrified of having my first anything, because I feel like everyone else is so much more experienced..I don't know, it's just really scary thinking about being with someone more experienced than me...