I Have Never Been In Love Before
I've never been in love .
saying it out loud sounds sad, but when I think about it, really think about it I'm not sad. That is not to say that I do not want to be in love, I really would love that, only I have to believe that the universe is not so cruel as to make me wait forever. For now at least, I am okay with life, I like my friends, even love them my family too they make me laugh and smile at odd moments when I think back on things but I don't want to be 'okay' with life forever, because I don't think I'm truly happy, all I do is think about the future and the one thing that I always picture is a happier me, and I think if I were truly happy I would just picture myself as I am now, only older and successful.
That is not to say that I cannot be happy on my own, I know I can but I think it would just make everything more exciting to find that special someone who makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter insanely and makes me smile for no other reason but the fact that I know them and they're a part of my life.
I suppose I could have written something sad and self pitying, about how I am technically and adult, and that in a few years I will actively be contributing to the world and yet I have never had a boyfriend but personally I don't think I necessarily needed a boyfriend to make high school fun and exciting if anything high school was fun and exciting because of the choices I made, and the same for my life at University. I honestly believe that when I eventually do find someone who makes me feel all the right thing, the timing will be right and I will be exactly where I need to be in my life. I don't think it makes a difference whether or not I had a high school sweetheart, my first kiss was with someone cute and it was exciting and new and fun I didn't love him but that didn't matter I'm sure when I actually am in love the kisses will be ten times more exciting and fun and they'll have more meaning too.
So I am not sad at all that I have never been in love, I think more than anything I am excited to finally be in love, whenever that may be.
saying it out loud sounds sad, but when I think about it, really think about it I'm not sad. That is not to say that I do not want to be in love, I really would love that, only I have to believe that the universe is not so cruel as to make me wait forever. For now at least, I am okay with life, I like my friends, even love them my family too they make me laugh and smile at odd moments when I think back on things but I don't want to be 'okay' with life forever, because I don't think I'm truly happy, all I do is think about the future and the one thing that I always picture is a happier me, and I think if I were truly happy I would just picture myself as I am now, only older and successful.
That is not to say that I cannot be happy on my own, I know I can but I think it would just make everything more exciting to find that special someone who makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter insanely and makes me smile for no other reason but the fact that I know them and they're a part of my life.
I suppose I could have written something sad and self pitying, about how I am technically and adult, and that in a few years I will actively be contributing to the world and yet I have never had a boyfriend but personally I don't think I necessarily needed a boyfriend to make high school fun and exciting if anything high school was fun and exciting because of the choices I made, and the same for my life at University. I honestly believe that when I eventually do find someone who makes me feel all the right thing, the timing will be right and I will be exactly where I need to be in my life. I don't think it makes a difference whether or not I had a high school sweetheart, my first kiss was with someone cute and it was exciting and new and fun I didn't love him but that didn't matter I'm sure when I actually am in love the kisses will be ten times more exciting and fun and they'll have more meaning too.
So I am not sad at all that I have never been in love, I think more than anything I am excited to finally be in love, whenever that may be.