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I'm So Afraid That I'll Never Fall In Love.

I'm so afraid that I'll never fall in love... even more than I am afraid that I won't be the one for him...

I'm scared

that I am incapable of love

that I have no one to love

that I am as hard and cold as stone

I'm so afraid that I will never fall in love...

I want to love. so bad.

 

I wasn't like this before... I was independent, strong, capable, and could see a future full of meaning created on my own...

but it's as if i've lost myself and i am left hollow and empty, longing and searching for something, someone I cannot even put into words...

it's agonizing, the uncertainty, and i feel as if i shall never feel complete if i don't wrap my arms around him and protect him from life's heartless ploys... even if he doesn't love me back...

i want to love recklessly, in a way that consumes every part of my being...

and i don't even know if he's even out there...

a part of me wishes i could evolve into a stronger, more self-reliant, powerful individual. but another part would rather be miserable and hunger rather than live obliviously above love.

"the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -eden ahbez

"You are what you love, not what loves you... That's what I decided a long time ago." - donald kaufman

am i just being stupid and delusional here?

CharlieAfrica CharlieAfrica 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 2, 2009

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Please give us some hope, have you found love?

Thanks:)