Very Outgoing, But Not When It Comes To Asking A Girl Out

I was so glad when I found out I wasn't alone. I am about to turn 19, have completed 1 year of college, and I have yet to kiss a girl. I have asked out 3 different girls, but no success.

I was homeschooled until I reached high school. The first girl I asked out was when I was 15, a sophomore in high school. I was very shy after I had a friend give her a note, but eventually one of her friends gave me a note with a response. I actually found out several months later that I wasn't actually allowed to date until my sister was also 15 (we tend to get treated as if we were the same age, which I find very annoying). We did remain very good friends until right before I left for college (for personal reasons that I will not discuss). 

I finally left for college. I wanted to get to know people for a few months before I attempted to ask out some more girls. It wasn't until midway through the first semester that I even thought about who to ask out. I then found out that even though I am a very outgoing person, I am extremely shy when it comes to asking out girls. I finally asked this one girl out when I sat with her at breakfast one morning. I had been trying for about 2 weeks, but never got the courage. I'm thinking it was something to do with having a 1 on 1 conversation with just each other. She said no, but I was not disappointed. In fact, I avoided getting my hopes up too high in order to minimize disappointment. As of today, she is one of my closer friends.

The third girl, I did not ask out until very late in the second semester. Throughout the semester, I was considering asking out 3 different girls. I wasn't sure if it was because I got too shy and decided to move on or because I actually did find the next girl more interesting. I had trouble just going up to a girl and asking her if I could talk to her after class. Eventually, I sent a facebook message to the girl I asked out, asking if I could talk to her. I wasn't so sure whether this was actually good for me, since she was the one who asked me what I wanted to talk about. I am still good friends with this girl too. 

I'm home for the summer now, but when school starts back up I am hoping to finally start asking out more girls. I don't know if my first girlfriend will end up being someone I met within this past year or an upcoming student or someone else, but I am hoping that I will become less shy the more I do this, maybe even less shy once I finally succeed in getting a girlfriend. I believe that good things will come to those who wait.
charlesrook charlesrook
1 Response May 7, 2012

To me it sounds like you're willing to settle for almost any girl with the way you described your situation. Like you said, you were thinking about asking THREE girls out and if one rejects you, you hope the other will and I don't think you have enough level of interest for each girl to be doing this. I think you just like the idea of having a girlfriend or having one of them accept you in the way that you want them too.<br />
<br />
I think with the way society is, we're not learning how to slow down and create a strong friendship with someone we think we're interested in. My parents knew each other for a long time before they got married and my mother believes that a good companion in life starts off as friends becuase as friends you really get to know each other's values, personalities, ways, dislikes, likes, beliefs, etc. When you just approach a girl and ask her out with no heavy or appropriate backgorund of a friendship, it tends to be a little bland.<br />
<br />
Do not RUSH this!!! There is no race, competition or certain age, or day that you should have a girlfriend. If you rush this, you will get hurt or have your time wasted. Just be patient.