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Oh I Guess So....................

Have I gone out on a real date? No. To me dating was like looking over autos and lets be honest here, both were checking the other out. For me sometime it would be a repeat and a repeat--same person, same events. Did I really and truly enjoy and get excited over the deal? No. I don't see myself as being the affection or (HaHa) lust of anyone else. It doesn't bother me, I am just not romantic or any other other things that a good date should be but I'm OK with that for this is who I am--warts and all. I gave up all pretenses of the whole dating scene 20 years ago, I just couldn't be true to anyone and I surely won't lead anyone down a path of deciet. Is it lonely? well life is what we chose and you can be lonely in a crowd or even with another. I am of a rare tribe, true, but I have come to deal with it all and I can honestly say I am comfortable with myself. Yes, it would be nice to have a similiar one like myself, there would be no expectations or letdowns. This I do seek but it is no big thing if such a person doesn't exist, I am here and I don't get a secoond chance so I must make do with what I have--There are no Life refunds and I'm not about to sink into a bowl of self pity and try to blame the world. As I said I am who I am. The flowers will still smell sweet whether I'm alone or with someone, the ocean waves will still crash upon the shore whether its just me or me and someone else, the event itself it to be savored and treasured, sometimes we overlook the obvious. We need to fulfil ourselves first before attempting to fulfil anyone else.
paddytram paddytram 56-60, M Apr 20, 2011

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