2 Be Or Not to Be

HAVENT WROTE A STORY IN A WHILE SO YOU KNOW I MUST BE INTO SOMETHING.WELL HERE GOES.BY NOW MOST OF YOU KNOW ME AND THE WIFE HAD A BIG FIGHT,I PULLED A KNIFE,AND WE GOT SEPERATED.DID YA KNOW WE WERE SEPERATED LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE?YEP ******* CRAZY.SO THE WIFE GOES OUT ***** SOME NEW GUY.I KNOW INSTANTLY CAUSE WHEN I SAW HER NAKED HER ***** LOOKED LIKE SHE GOT HIT WITH A  TRUCK DOWN THERE.ANYWAY,THE PROBLEM IS THIS.AFTER ABOUT A WEEK OF WATCHING HER CALL HER BOYFRIEND UP IN FRONT OF ME AND ENJOYING HERSELF I GOT TIRED OF BEING THE LONELY HUSBAND.WHAT ELSE TO DO BUT GO IN CHAT WITH PEOPLE.WHILE CHATTING I MET A WONDERFUL 27 YR OLD GIRL FROM CALIFORNIA WHO IS COMING TO NY THIS WEEK.EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT.SHE REALLY LIKES ME.IM FALLING FOR HER.SURE ITS EARLY TO BE SETTLING DOWN BUT **** IT-I LIKE THIS GIRL ENOUGH TO RESPECT HER AND NOT BE HAVING SEX THEN LEAVING HER.HERES THE THING.THIS PAST MONDAY THE WIFE CAME TO ME TALKING BOUT SHE WANTS TO MAKE UP.I AGREED BUT THE NEXT DAY I TOLD HER NO.THE THING IS THIS.SHE SLEPT WITH THIS GUY TWICE.THEY EVEN DID IT 3 TIMES IN 1 DAY.I AINT GONNA LIE.I CANT COMPETE WITH THAT SO **** IT.SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME AND WANTS TO PUT THE FAMILY BACK TOGETHER.I DONT CAUSE I WANNA MEET THIS GIRL.NOW I LOVE MY WIFE WITH AL MY HEART AND I DONT WANNA LEAVE HER EITHER.WHAT TO DO.THE WIFE IS TRYING EXTREMELY HARD TO MAKE UP.CLEANING COOKING STAYING HOME NOW BUT TOO ME ITS TOO LATE.IM HALF WAY GONE.SO MY FRIENDS HELP ME.THE WIFE OR THE MISTRESS.I KNOW ITS MY CHOICE BUT WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
SINISTERMEMPHISTO SINISTERMEMPHISTO
26-30, M
15 Responses Jul 12, 2007

LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE.NO FREAKING WAY.SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY WIFE.THERE'S NO WAY TO LIVE WITH HER AND NOT THINK ABOUT WHATS HAPPENING

I know you do..that is obvious...but....<br />
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Can you sleep in a spare room...on the couch...anywhere but with her. <br />
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Be with your kids, but dont live as married right now...that takes two and neither of you seem to be willing to walk that line just now.

i miss her alot but what am i to do.i cant trust her.yet.i still love her.and i miss my children

sinsister dear...stop focusing on whatever is or is not with her.....its driving you nuts!<br />
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Focus on you....let her worry about fixing her. You cant do that for her...dont even try.

its great being single.i just miss my family too.what to do i hate her and cant trust her

Its common cycle sinister...<br />
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Really...please....stop "having a blast" if you mean what I think you mean. That in the long run wont help you...just make you feel worse.<br />
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Radiant wrote a great post....I think she is one smart cookie...I'd listen and take her advice if I were you....:)

i told her the sanity thing.i told her i probaly would have went nutz living wit her.i had sex wit her last week in the same bed.at this point i feel like im like her other boy friend just "*** and go"<br />
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see for the last yr she was never ever home.i just grew apart.now that im out the house im having a blast.she keeps telling me miss me

she has her own dragons to slay....currently really feel you need to focus on your own. Should you go home and sleep in the same bed she is violating...well no!<br />
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Either sleep in a spare room or even get your own place.<br />
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Just be very clear with telling her what you are doing...Tell her you arent separating to play...you are doing so to retain your sanity and work on "you".

thing is the wife keeps saying she miss me now,bnut then says she wants to keep her lover.she says i could come home and sleep with her in the same bed she screwed this dude. i told her that if i come home she must be leaving

I think Radiant said it perfectly....<br />
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nothing really to add except this. You say you just want to be single..that fits with her advice. By single I do not mean divorce nor do I mean that you go chasing after women. Spend some time on you...and in counseling. Get yourself straight then look at whether the two of you wish to save your marriage.

well im been hanging with this chick since i left home sept 27.she's getting on my nerves.i just wanna be single,lol

damn boo alot has happen i need to get a comp at home and get the net so i can keep up with you well baby doll i dont really know how to tell you to handle this only your heart can tell you but you seem like a great man and alot of guys wouldnt put up with that **** so i hope all is while with you hit me back when you can lov me bye

You want real advice from someone with experience?<br />
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I am just the beginning of your counseling. I am a veteran Registered Nurse of 38 and 1/2 years. Nurses are trained in basic psychology, but they get the rest of their education on the job.<br />
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I will be blunt and hope that you respect me and my experience and can accept this truth. <br />
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The way you are now, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS being in any relationship. <br />
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Your wife also has NO BUSINESS being in any relationship. <br />
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You cerainly SHOULD NOT bring another person into your emotional mess right now.<br />
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Your wife has already banged a guy several times (under your nose) and caused emotional damage to you, herself and him. <br />
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Get this straight: I DO NOT GET OFF ON READING STORIES LIKE THIS. OTHERS MAY, AND THEY MAY WRIGHT LITTLE REMARKS BACK TO YOU AS PART OF THEIR SINCERE THOUGHTS OR AS PART OF THEIR GETTING OFF. <br />
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I LIKE YOU. I CARE FOR ANY HUMAN BEING BECAUSE THEY LIVE, BREATHE, LAUGH AND LOVE, AND THEY ARE MY BROTHER OR SISTER, MOTHER OR FATHER, AND ETC. <br />
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YOU I LIKE EVEN BETTER, BECAUSE I HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU. <br />
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AS MESSED UP AS YOU ARE (EMOTIONALLY, DUE TO YOUR SEXUAL VIBRATO ******* you around, and YOUR STRANGE WIFE TAKING YOU THROUGH THE TERRORS OF INFIDELITY), I STILL TRULY LIKE THE BASIC YOU THAT IS HIDDEN UNDERNEATH ALL THIS STUFF...at least as much of yourself as you have revealed. And I take this as true because I do not want to spend time trying to second quess who you might actually be. <br />
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As a nurse, I am what is called a "patient advocate" and I swore an oath to "do no harm"<br />
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My Buddhist philosophy fits into this well. <br />
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I would not tell someting that would hurt you.<br />
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WHY DON'T YOU TAKE TIME TO JUST BE YOU. GET SOME EDUCATION IN SOMETHING THAT FASCINATES YOU AND FIND SOME PEOPLE THAT WANT TO EXPLORE NATURE, PHILOSOPHY AND THE ARTS. THEN BUILD FRIENDSHIPS THAT ARE NOT HEAD ON SEXUAL IN NATURE. <br />
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You need to learn to build stronger friendships and you need to take a class on boundaries.<br />
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You and your wife do not have adequate boundaries to protect your basic selves and allow you both to develope.<br />
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Any book store will have cases of books on self help in the area of emotional boundaries. I suggest you find a couple books and begin reading.<br />
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A couple sessions with a good therapist can GUT THROUGH THE HALF TRUTHS and DOWN RIGHT <br />
DARK THINGS that are presently obliterating your ability to see a better future. <br />
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Your lask of boundaries leaves you with no respect or trust in this relationship AND this will carry into other relationships if you do not have some counseling and if you do not want to make a change and stick to it. <br />
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You know me enough through our personal correspondence, to know that I have extensive knowledge about human nature, history, religion and the like. So, this comes to you out of considerable education as well as considerable care for you. <br />
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Most sincerelyl, <br />
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R

I completely agree with Luci on this one! It's been my experience that a Couple needs 2 things in order to survive: Respect and Trust. Without one, the other soon falls short as well.

thats a toughie! Ask yourself if you and your wife make up, everytime you have sex with you be able to do it without imagining her with the other guy? And are you willing to throw all of this behind you and never throw it up in each others faces again? Because if you make up then its time to forgive and forget.