Never Have And Never WillI never have been and never will be with a man, because I'm a lesbian, 100%, all the way, and proud and happy to be Simple as that. I could leave it there - like, enough said
But when I noticed this group here, a thought did occurr, about peoples' perceptions of this - well, the perceptions of some people I have met down the years
I have known for sure that I'm gay since I was 15 - before I had any actual sexual experience with another girl - and I came out at uni when I was 19 This seems to be the part that some people can't get over - I knew, for sure, before I ever had any actual sexual experience with another female Amongst the mixed reactions I received when I came out at uni was one that stands out here; 'how could I know for sure'........the implication being I had nothing to compare it to! Of course, predictably, I had this reaction quite a lot from guys - but I just put that down to 'oh you might think you have no interest in guys but you should try me!! I'll soon sort you out and put you right!' but, more importantly, I had it too from some of the girls I hung out with at uni - 'Jade, you haven't ever had a boyfriend....how can you be totally sure you are a lesbian....' and there it was again! that same - 'because you've got nothing to compare it to' thing - even from one or two girls I knew I've contined to have this reaction from some people down the years when I say that I have never been with a man - I'm a lesbian Of course men are the most likely to bring up that old '....you've got nothing to compare it to' thing - even men who sem to accept lesbians in general, well, they seem to accept them better if they have came out later in life, or at least had a couple of boyfriends before coming out - but when they discover I have never been with a man - there it always is again! '........but you've got nothing to compare it to'!! and with men, the unspoken part, hanging in the air, I JUST know is '....but it's not too late for you....you should try me....I'll show you something....I'll show you what you've been missing!' This even from men who generally accept lesbians who have left men and came out - they do seem to struggle when they discover I've never had a man
Most bizarrely of all, an older lesbian I used to know a few years ago, even was of the opinion that I couldn't have known for sure at that age - no one can know for sure that young - she opined! - and even went on to suggest perhaps I should have experimented a bit more in order to be certain!!!! in order to be certain of what????!! that I hadn't made some sort of embarrassing mistake! or just some little blooper - that when pointed out to me I could go 'oh gosh! shucks! you're right! oh what an idiot I've been! oh I'm so embarassed! there was me thinking I'm gay and all the while I just forgot completely to try it with a man! Oh I've got ever such a red face! I must have the IQ of Homer Simpson!'
I mean to say!! I could ask someone who tells me they're straight - 'how long have you known you're straight? as early as 14 or 15!! OHH! but how can you be so sure if you haven't tried it with a woman//man I mean, you've got nothing to compare it too!!!!'
I hate it that this just puts the whole thing down to the sexual act itself - important thought that is - but it takes NO account whatsoever of my feelings!! My feelings have always, always, always, always been directed towards other females Only women have ever aroused my deepest romantic feelings, only women have inspired the romance in my soul, I have always felt just more comfortable and alive in exclusively female company I have NEVER had any feelings inspired by men - not romantic feelings, no desire, nothing - everything for me is inspired by other women My deepest feelings are such that I can only fall hopelessly, madly, passionately in love with other women For men, I have none of these feelings - never have had and never will have
So I won't ever be trying it with a man - just to check and make sure I haven't made a teeny bit of an embarrassing mistake or something